Dirty jokes

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Very neat for a boy; always cleaned up his mess, no matter where he got it on me. He's Hispanic, so he's like, 'Now who's the wетваск?' I'm like, 'Hey, still you. Get back in the kitchen, those dishes aren't going to do themselves.'

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Dirty jokes

What do you call someone who spreads chick peas and garlic over their gеniтаls?
A hummussexual.

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Dirty jokes

Dog: ahhhhh, that swim was good
Cat: Nope, i hated it, i can't even walk on the kitchen floor without slipping
Dog: Heh heh, Well maybe you should stop being such a wet pussy
(fall's to floor laughing)
Cat:Ha ha, i really don't give a сrар, well at least not as much as you аsshоlе.
(fall's to floor laughing)

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Jhon: when there's three people its a тhrееsоме,
When there's two people its a twosome
I now know why they call me handsome

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Dirty jokes

Did you hear about the dyslexic рrоsтiтuте? She was really good at cooking socks.

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Dirty jokes

Ever done it on a pile of artificial grass?

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Dirty jokes

Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!

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Dirty jokes

"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have a penis
And I will stick it in you.
Harder and harder you will moan.
Faster and faster it will grow.
White water comes in.
Baby comes out."
- Said your father.

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I didn't mean to get my cummerbund on you.

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Dirty jokes

Normally, I don't go for the piercings and tattoos, but then she said to me that she got them because she's addicted to the pain. Yeah, which -- I was kind of intimidated, but kind of turned on at the same time. 'Cause y'all don't know, but I've been out of a relationship for three months now. I'm ready to have that just-out-of-prison sеx.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes

Q. What’s the difference between toilet paper and news paper?
A. Toilet paper is brown and smells bad.

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News and Politics Jokes Dirty jokes

If I'm ever in the military, I want to be in an all gаy platoon... My theory's pretty simple: I want the guy covering my аss to think my аss is pretty cute. I want them fighting for more than just country here, you know what I'm saying?

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Dirty jokes Military Jokes

The three most important men in a women's life:
The doctor - who tells her to take off all her clothes
The dentist - who tells her to open wide
Milk man - who asks if she wants it in the front or back.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

I went to the doctor and I found out that I can't have children. The medical reason, as far as I understand it, is that when I еjасulате, there is rarely, if ever, a woman in the room.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

Women have an easier time purchasing condoms than men because women are bold. Women aren't bothered by it. Women will walk into that drug store, 'Yeah, let me see, give me the lambskin lubricated one that's ribbed with feathers, two feet long and vibrates. That's the one I want, and I think I've got a coupon.'

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

Take me to your leader! I hope he lives in your pants.

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I met a cute chick in the тамроn section on the way to the register, so I asked her if I could take her out in 5 to 7 days.

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Dirty jokes

Some people prefer their women young and tender; I prefer mine ten and younger.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Waking up to a surprise bj is great but not when you’re in prison.

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I saw the commercial for hеrреs medication. First of all, I know commercials are getting ridiculous, but the thing that tripped me out about this commercial was not how they made it look like your life get a whole lot better after hеrреs -- you can rock climb and jet ski and all that! -- they make it look like life begins with hеrреs.

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Dirty jokes