Dirty jokes

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One day a boy parents were arguing so the called each other b*tch and аss holes so the boy asked ' what's a b*tch and and аss hole"
They replied аss hole is another word for gentle man and b*tch is another word for gentle lady" later on the the boy dad was shaving and he cut himself and he shouted shiт the boy asked what does shiт mean his dad replied its another word for shaving cream. Then the little boy went to the kitchen and meet his mom cleaning a turkey she got cut and shouted fuск the little boy asked what is fuск she replied its another word for cutting the turkey just then the door веll rang the little boy ran to answered it and greeted the guest by saying good evening b*tches and аss holes my dad is shaving with shiт and my mom is f*cking the turkey

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

I never got a birds and the bees speech as a child. The closest thing I ever got -- one time, my dad was cooking breakfast; he's like, 'Sеx is a lot like this egg. First thing you gotta do is heat up the bed real nice, get it nice and warm, get it ready for her. Then, you gotta take her, сrаск her over the head and lay her out flat, alright? Come on now -- wait 'til she starts sizzlin' really good, then you can flip her on over -- there ya go. Don't get too excited or you get yellow stuff all over the bacon.'

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Why did Santa get arrested?
He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!

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Dirty jokes Christmas Jokes

You saw a commercial saying "look through glasses". You ran to the shop and bought one. You tried it on in the swimming pool. You walk around and realize it just made you blind. You throw away your glasses. You see nакеd girls infront of you.
You yell " It worked"!

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

American teenagers are six times more likely to get pregnant than French teenagers. And what does that tell you? It tells you that American teenagers are better looking. But I say, let's learn from the French -- don't hand out condoms to high school students, take away their deodorant.

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

Three men died and were approached by God. God said that they should walk a hundred steps and say an animal they want to be. The first man walked his hundred steps and said tiger. The second man walked his hundred steps and said shark. The third man was about to complete his hundred steps but tripped on his 99th step. He fell and yelled "FUСКING ВULLSНIТ!"

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God Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

A clinically insane man has a doctor appointment at 11:00. when he gets out of his shower, he wraps himself in saran wrap. ( clear plastic wrap ) and goes to the doctor, stark nакеd under the plastic wrap. When he gets there, his doctor looks at him for a about 2 minutes and says "well, for your diagnosis... I can clearly see your nuts."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

I want you to reach out and loop me in.

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Dirty jokes

Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.

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Dirty jokes

One girl was getting rареd and she threatened to call the cops he said ok go ahead let's see who сuмs first

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Dirty jokes

Surely, there must be a more dignified way to express your love and admiration for another human being -- like baking them a cake or something, or just leaving them alone for a while.

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Dirty jokes

I'd like you to look at my DNA.

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Dirty jokes

Boy: when I say something you say addicted
Girl: ok
Boy: drugs
Girl: addicted
Boy: alcohol
Girl: addicted
Boy: what made your throat so big
Girl: a-diск-did

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Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Men are simple. We just want to eat, have sеx -- wouldn't mind eating again.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Let's discuss my raise in your corner office.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

I just broke up with this girl, and she was really into sеx games. Like, there was this one she used to like to play all the time -- it was called 'Sleep With My Friend Rob.'

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

You fellas seen these nursing bras? Cup opens right up. You got a snap on the cup: cup -- рооf -- opens right up. Where have these been? I spent 16 years with my hand behind her back, 'What is that a staple? A button? Little help?'

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Dirty jokes

Boy: hey do why they call me bubbles...?
Girl:Why??
Boy:Because everybody loves blowing bubbles.

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Dirty jokes

Personally, I prefer going down.

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Dirty jokes

What is it when a woman talks dirтy to a man? $3.99 a minute.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes