Dirty jokes

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Me: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Sweetie, you can always tell me anything!
Me: You boss is a man-women...
Mom: That should explains her middle leg.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

The following conversation took place at the supermarket while buying condoms.
Cashier: Do you want a bag for that?
Me: Thanks for the compliment but I think the condoms should be big enough.

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Dirty jokes

Your house so dirтy the roaches ride around in dune buggies. I came over and one tripped me and a rat stole my wallet. Shit

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Dirty jokes

The more you flirt
The more I squirt.
The longer it shows
The father it goes
The more fun I have with you
The more i have to pay you.
The one's that are free to play
The longer my awesome day.

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Dirty jokes

Boyfriend: Are you a whale?
Because we can humpback at my place.

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Dirty jokes

Son: Dad, do you ever believe in true justice
Dad: It's a hard question but no, why?
Son: Good because I just rареd a girl

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

What's the difference between a blond girl and a brick wall?
The brick wall only gets laid once

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Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes

( wendy and Burger king having sеx )
Burger king: you like that
Wendy: im loving it!
(burger king stops):wait what did you just say

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Who does the cooking in a lеsвiаn relationship?
Neither of them. The both eat-out.

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Dirty jokes Relationship Jokes

*man gets abducted by aliens*
News reporter: whats these rumours about you getting abducted?
Abducted man: ABDUCTED? I GOT RАРЕD! now i dont mind rаре as long as im the мuтhеr f*cka doing the rарing! THEM E. T's WENT STRAIGHT FOR MY SНIТ-BOX!!!

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News and Politics Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

I've just seen on the news that a girl i used to date had been rареd, murdered and her body dumped in the nearby woods,
Horrified, i fell to my knees
"No, no its not right, no it can't be" i screamed at the TV with my hands on my head.
"It was after i murdered her i rареd her body in the woods!, .. After!"

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News and Politics Jokes Dirty jokes

Friend: it takes a minut to like someone, a day to have a crush, months to fall in love and a lifetime to forget. =D
Me: my mom one time forgot about me in the grocery store....

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Two friend are having an argument:
Friend 1: I f*cking hate you dude
Friend 2: What I do so wrong?
Friend 1: You had sеx with my mom you Motherf*cker
Friend 2: Poor choice of words.......

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid that she went to see a doctor the other day because she found a сrаск in her аss.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

Not saying shes a hое but shes probably had more nuts in her mouth than a squirrel preparing for winter

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Dirty jokes

I had gonorrhea in February -- I know, I was shocked as well. I didn't have any typical symptoms. The only symptom I had was a searing earache from my girlfriend screaming at me for giving her gonorrhea.

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Dirty jokes

A king went for hunting.. spotted a bear. He aimed at the bear and shot at it but missed it. The bear notices that he missed comes close to him and said suск my соск as you missed me. King accepts his defeat and suскs the bear's соск. In kings second attempt he missed the bear.. He suскs bear's соск once again. Now the king was so рissеd off.. Trains himself to shoot accurately and hides to кill the bear this time. On his 3rd attempt he missed the bear again.
Now the bear comes near the king and said
Are you coming here to кill me or suск my соск!![

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Dirty jokes

Person: tell your mum to stop changing her lipstick my diск is starting to look like a rainbow
You: try washing it for once

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Dirty jokes

I didn't like being single, man, because I didn't get laid that much, you know. I remember one time, I got this gal back to my place, and I was like, 'So you want to have some sеx?' She was like, 'Well, I don't normally do this but -- I'm going to pass.'

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes

There are three friends, Shut the hеll up, Your manners, and Bear Shiт. One day they're in the woods and bear shiт gets lost and your manners looks for him. Shut the hеll up goes to the police station "my friend is missing can you help me?" The officer says "what's your name?"
"Shut the hеll up"
"What?" Shut the hеll up"
"Say that again?" Shut the hеll up!"
"Son where's your manners?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you! He's out in the woods looking for bear shiт"

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes Friendship Jokes