Dirty jokes

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A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his diск. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

Why do tampons have no friends?
Because they’re stuck up kunts.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

You know what's great about being married? When dessert comes, you just shove it in your pie hole and you move on to the Promised Land. You just look at each other -- we're going to get fат and we're still going to have sеx.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Fat Jokes

I hate you, you hate me, Barney rареd you on T. V he turned off the lights and shut the door, what a hоrny dinosaur.

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Dirty jokes

My neighbor always hide his women's asthma inhailer so she can scream at him:
"Give it to me!!!!! Give it to me!!!!" so the neighbours could think he is a stud. ;-)

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

How did the snowman get happy?
The snowblower came around

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Dirty jokes

Маsтurватing is wrong in some people's eyes... Also, it burns.

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Dirty jokes

1000 kick аssеs I will ask my teacher to f*ck

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Dirty jokes

Me: Hey dad, do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a little kid?
Dad: Yeah
Me: Well I just saw him the other day and he wanted me to tell you he says hi.
Dad: Fuск you

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Now that's an extreme religion: Amish. Oh my God, it's against their religion -- it's a sin for them -- to ride in a car. Then I heard an Amish guy got hit and killed by a car. Isn't that ironic? That would be like a Jewish person being electrocuted by some Christmas lights or a Catholic choking on a соndом -- just ironic.

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I came up with what I thought was a good idea. I'm like, I'm gonna start jerking off in the shower. Genius, I figured, she'll never catch me in there. And it was working out pretty well, too, until they took away my gym membership.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

What’s the difference between Rolf Harris and an Israeli soldier?
When Rolf fuскs children he always takes them to McDonald’s first.

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Dirty jokes Military Jokes

Little Johnny walked in on his parents doing it. "What are you doing" he asked. The father quickly replied, "Oh, I'm playing cards. Your mother is my wild card."
"Oh, ok" Johnny replied. The next day, Johnny walks in to a room to find his father маsтurватing. He says,
"What are you doing".
"Oh playing cards again" the father replied. "But wheres your wild card" Johnny asked. His father looks at him seriously and says,
"Son, you don't need a wild card if you have a good hand"

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Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes

Kids these days have got it so easy... when I was a kid, there wasn't any paedophiles about so we had to buy our own candy!

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Whats worse than finding a hole in your соndом?
Finding a соndом in your hole!

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Dirty jokes

Pulled my groin the other day -- for about 20 minutes.

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Dirty jokes

Yet another one of my original jokes stolen by some соскsuскеr that flipped a couple of words making it seem like it's his or her shiт while not realizing people like myself and others who's jokes have been taken and re-worded won't read them and won't think that it's actually their actual joke that they f*cking came up with. Newsflash you motherf*ckers, if we thought about them and came up with them then most likely we have them in our notebooks that we keep and we know exactly when and where and the time it was when we finalized the joke and wrote it in our notebooks. This is about that b*tch аss hое that posted the joke about the "diск and the ваlls, let's go out. no whenever we go out you leave us knocking." FUСК YOU for thinking you got it but b*tch your shiт version is f*cking sтuрid and not original. Вiтсh acknowledge that the joke was from someone else and your using it then i don't have an issue with it because i do exactly that, if it's not mine and i post it i always always always make sure to note that it's not an original by me.

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Dirty jokes

She calls me up in the middle of the night. She says to me, 'Tracy, I can't believe that I actually have a person inside of me.' I said, 'So do I. I'll call you back.'

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Dirty jokes

A boy goes up to a girl during school and asked if she would like to go over his house after school and she said yes then the boy said that they would have to use code because I share a bunk bed with my little brother and he thinks we are making sandwiches so for harder u say tomato and for faster u say is cheese so they go to his house latter on add she says tomato tomato cheese cheese hen the little brother asked if they could stop making sandwitches because they are getting mayo all over him bed

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

I'm reaching my sеxuаl peak here, tonight. It's really kind of sad, though, because women reach it at 35 and men reach it at 18. It's really depressing because now I have to drive past high schools to find guys in their sеxuаl peak.

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