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Dog jokes

Most popular in this category

It's incredible; the way she looks up at me with her beautiful hazel eyee, how she cries for me when I leave, how soft she feels against my skin and most importantly, how she's not afraid to get frisky when we're in bed together.
I really love my dog.

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Dog jokes

Hey, did you see that movie about a hot-dog ?
It was an oscar wiener.

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Dog jokes

What does your dog and anne frank have in common?
An average lifespan of 15 years

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Dog jokes

I got a new female dog today
Her name is Karma

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Dog jokes

What do you do as a Dyslexic Insomniac Atheist?
You stay up all night questioning the existence of a dog.

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Dog jokes

Today I chopped up Onion for dinner and it made me cry. I guess it's true that you grow an attachment to an animal after you give it a name
He was a good dog

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

I'm not saying my neighbor's dog is fat
But she's more than a little husky.

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Fat Jokes Dog jokes

We have to bury my dog today.
Mom: Don't be sad. All dogs go to heaven.
Me: Thanks mom. Where does updog go?
Mom: What's up dog?
Me: Not much dog. Just looking for a shovel.

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Dog jokes

I named my first dog "What".
Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."

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Dog jokes

[OC] My friend recently taught his dog how to say "I love you"
I'm still trying to teach my dad.

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Dad Jokes Dog jokes

A man takes his dog to the vet to be examined...
The vet picks the dog up, looks it over, and then says,
"I'm going to have to put him down."
The man asks why.
"He's heavy."

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Dog jokes

So I got a phone call from the post office today...
... Complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".

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Dog jokes

If K-9 is a guard dog, a guard cat would be....
K-10.^^kitten

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

A cat and dog stand next to a broken case. Who did it?
The Russians.

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

You know those weird cat-dog things in Undertale?...
I could never understand tem

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

I'm a bit of a wizard when it comes to talking to animals.
I have a dog called woof. I asked him it's name, and it said woof. I have a cat called meow, because it said meow when I asked her name. And I have a parrot called Whatsyourname.

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Cat jokes Dog jokes

My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug.
Turns out my dog licked my sample.

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Irish jokes Dog jokes

A dog and a chicken walked into a bar. The bartender started to laugh...
The dog leaned over and whispered in the chicken’s ear, "Do you still have the ALCU on speed dial? I think we have a case here!"

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Political Jokes Dog jokes

Our neighbour’s dog shat in our garden, so my mum told me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence.
I don’t see what that solved, now we’ve got dog shiт in our garden and the neighbours have our shovel.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

A teacher was telling her class about plant names that have the word "dog" in them, such as dog-rose, dogwood, dog violet.
She asked the class if they could name another flower with the preface "dog".
Steven raised his hand and said,
"Sure Miss Jones. How about a 'collie' flower?"

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School Jokes Dog jokes