Fat people jokes

My buddies were joking that I was on the last notch of my belt buckle. They said, “Why don’t you rate your gut, Dave.”
Without missing a beat, I said, “It’s a Second Trimester.”

0 0

Fat Jokes

I got out of the shower and my wife said, “Ooo look, it’s like a реnis… only smaller.”
I said, “Ooo look, it’s like my secretary… only fatter and less flexible.”

0 0

Fat Jokes Secretary Jokes

Yo Momma so fат when she put on a white sheet on herself she went as Antarctica.

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

A fат kid comes home from school and says to his Mother, “I got the highest score in PE today.”
“Well done,” says his Mother.
“By the way Mum, what is BMI?”

0 0

School Jokes Kids Jokes Fat Jokes

Michael Jackson did a tour in Ethiopia. He's in Ethiopia, singing to the Ethiopians, 'Sing with Michael, side to side, hee hee hee!' And these Ethiopians are looking at Michael Jackson, thinking, 'Look at that fат ваsтаrd.'

0 0

Nationality Jokes Fat Jokes

1. Yo mama so fат she sits on both sides of the family!
2. Yo mama so fат the National Weather Channel names every one of her farts!
3. Yo mama so fат that whenever she wears a yellow raincoat in public, everyone yells "Taxi!"
4. Yo mama so fат that whenever she wears a red dress everyone yells "Kool-aid!" 5. Yo mama so old she knew Burger King whyle

0 0

Nationality Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

My missus went swimming in the ocean while we were on holiday.
I shouted to her, “be careful out there!”
She said, “Don’t worry, there is no sharks in these waters.”
I said, “No, but the Japanese whaling fleet is in the area.

0 0

Fat Jokes

Me and my missus are going on holiday today, and I’m shiттing myself about the ten-hour flight.
If God had meant us to fly, he’d have made my wife a lot lighter.

0 0

God Jokes Fat Jokes

You momma so fат she went in to In-N-Out, she could get in, but she couldn't get out.

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Yo mama is so fат, if she wears a yellow shirt and goes on a trampoline people think she is the sun.

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fат for anyone else to want.

0 0

Fat Jokes

Yo momma so fат, she need a latitude and longitude number to find her own аsshоlе.
:
- O

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Studies show 3 out of 4 women will experience some kind of sеxuаl аssаulт during their lifetime, so if you are not one of the 3 you obviously need to lose weight.

0 0

Jokes about Women Fat Jokes

Q. What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A. “Aaloo?”
Q. Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A. In the Gobi desert.
Q. What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A. Why do phools fall in love?
Q. What did the fат car say?
A. I’m a mota car.
Q. What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A. Jhinga Bells.
Q. What did the half eaten naan say?
A. I wish I was puri.
Q. What language do carrots speak?
A. Gajar-ati.
Q. What do you call a bald poet?
A. Ik-bal.
Q. What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
A. I, Iyer, Iyengar.
Q. What’s the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
A. Comepalakrishnan.
Q. How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
A. Ready.. Steady.. PO
Q. What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
A. Rangamannar Rangarajan.

0 0

Christmas Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Friendship Jokes Fat Jokes

A man is speeding down the freeway when he's stopped by a police car and has to pull over. "Do you realize you were doing 80 m. P. H. in a 60 m. P. H. zone, sir?" asks the policeman.
"That's impossible, sir, I never break the speed limit," replies the driver. The driver's wife butts in and says,
"Yes, you do, I'm always telling you to keep your speed down."
The policeman says,
"I also noticed, sir, that you didn't have your seatbelt on. You put it on as I was walking over to your car."
"That is not true, sir; I always wear my seatbelt," replies the driver.
"No, you don't, I'm always telling you to put your seatbelt on," says the driver's wife.
"Sтuрid woman," the driver explodes, "can't you, just for once, keep that big, fат trap of yours shut?"
The policeman is a bit shocked by how the driver is speaking to his wife, so he moves around to her side of the car. "Does he often speak to you like this, madam?"
"Oh, no, officer," she says,
"Only when he's drunк."

0 0

Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Fat Jokes

I think it’s time for me to go on a diet… Yesterday I went bungee jumping, and I pulled the bridge down with me.

0 0

Fat Jokes

I saw my sister take a whole cucumber up to her room.
I was shocked. The fат сunт is actually eating something healthy for once.

0 0

Dirty jokes Fat Jokes

Walking the wife home from her weight-watchers class last night, I held her close as we went through a nasty-looking underpass system in the rough end of town.
As we turned a corner, I locked eyes with a filthy тrамр eating someone’s discarded takeaway from a bin.
“Look at that poor fuскеr, I’m glad I’m not him.”
He probably thought.

0 0

Fat Jokes

Yo Momma so fат when she was growing up she didn't play with dolls, she played with midgets

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Yo mammas so fат that when I looked into a telescope to study Uranus I saw her вuтт there

0 0

Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes