Friendship Jokes

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KID 1: That's why you don't have any friends now
KID 2: The only time you hang out with yours is when you look in the mirror

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

I think my friend Steve is gаy but i’m not sure, I can never remember names.

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Friendship Jokes

What did the sick fish say to his friend?
I'm a little green around the gills.

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Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes

Luigi is bragging to his friend Pasquale: …
…
“I justa bought a piece of field that is-a 2 cm wide and-a 10 km long.” …
“What-a on Earth are you going to do with a field-a like that? … not even-a one inch by six-a miles?”
….
“Grow-a spaghetti, of course.”

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Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes

My best friend is a real dunce. He just got fired from his job.
He told his boss he was too tired to go into work last night.
He's a mattress tester!

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Office and Work Jokes Friendship Jokes

Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.

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Friendship Jokes

Two friends ran into each other at Starbucks the other day and got to talking about what was new.
Sally said,
"I'm thinking of starting an OCD support group at my house."
Rhonda answered, "Really? I didn't know you had an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder."
Sally said,
"I don't , I just want to get my house cleaned."

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Friendship Jokes

Friend: You wanna hangout today?
Me: I can't, I am grounded.
Friend: For what?
Me: My mom and I got in an argument, and she said,
"SON OF A ВIТСН!" so I said,
"Yes, i am a son of a вiтсh!"
Friend: HAHAHA That's why you are my friend. xD

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Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

I called a car phone the other day for the first time. I did something I thought was kind of sтuрid, considering my friend never answered and I was calling a car. Think about this -- I let the phone ring 11 times. Did I think perhaps my friend was in another part of the vehicle? He's going to pick up the phone out of breath -- 'Sorry, came in from the trunk. Man, I have got to get a cordless. One phone is not enough for this Chevette.'

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Men jokes Friendship Jokes

An Inventor patiently сhiрs a piece of flint into the first knife ever. … …
…
His friend:
“That’s the greatest invention since bread.” …
…
Inventor:
“Well I’m about to вlоw your mind.”

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Friendship Jokes

- A friend of mine went fishing today and caught a rainbow trout. ….
….
He threw it back ’cause he said he didn’t wanna fry up no gаy fish.

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Sports Jokes Friendship Jokes

Friend: I know what you are but what am I ?
You: I don't want to tell you cause then I'll make you cry
Friend: Look in the mirror and you'll see why
You: Well, that's why hello kitty doesn't want to say hi

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Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

Me: Dаммiт i didn't pass my test
Friend: HAH, fail
Me: :(... Your dads соndом was a fail

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Insult Jokes Friendship Jokes

You know you’re getting old when your best friend tells you he's having an affair and you want to know if it's catered

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Old People Jokes Friendship Jokes

Then there's a friend who only calls me when she's depressed. You all know people like this: I'm on the phone with her for three hours; it's a waste of time. She never listens to my advice -- she will not jump.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Friendship Jokes

Blonde: hey i got a a compliment on my driving today.
Friend:how???
Blonde:when i got outside i had a piece of paper on my car that said "parking fine"
Friend: Fuскing blondes.

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Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes

Maurice was known among his friend for the promptness with which he sent his ex-wife her alimony payment each month. When asked the reason for his rush, he shivered and explained, “I’m afraid that if I ever should fall behind in my payments she might decide to repossess me.”

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Friendship Jokes

A guy was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend came to visit him.
The guy struggles to tell his friend, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside."
"What does she read?" the friend asks.
"My life insurance policy."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes

I was dancing in a nightclub the other night when my friend called me a сunт…
At least I think it was him, as I had my sunglasses on at the time.

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Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes

Me:
"So I was sitting at this restaurant last night"
Friend:
"And"
Me:
"I really needed to pass some gas"
Friend:
"And"
Me:
"The music was really loud so I did it"
Friend:
"And"
Me:
"I realized I was listening to my iPod"
Friend:
"Hahahahahahaha"

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Friendship Jokes