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What is red and occasionally explodes in the fruit section?
A pomegranate.
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Good jokes
37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court. They will be sentenced next Friday.
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Good jokes
Nurse to a doctor: Doctor, here’s your list of heart, liver and kidney donors. I already sorted them alphabetically.
Doctor: Excellent job. Seriously well оrgаn-ized.
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Good jokes
A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his chest. The doctor looks, examines and finally says, “Let me give you some cream to put on it.”
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Good jokes
Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.
But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer.
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Good jokes Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes
Would it be possible to cross an eel with an eagle?
Absolutely not. That would be eeleagle.
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Good jokes
Mrs. Blutwurst is to have quite a tricky operation
And is very nervous about it. Just before she gets her anesthesia, she
Grabs the surgeon by the hand, “Oh doctor, I’m so afraid!”
“Don’t you worry, Mrs. Blutwurst,“ says the doctor, “I did this
Operation 30 times already. It has to work this time.
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That moment when your teacher gets very angry with you because you’ve
Been nervously clicking the ball pen, but you still have to click it one
More time to be able to write.
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Good jokes
“Hey, Karen, how much do you weigh?”
“I’m not telling you!”
“Aw, come on, tell! Give me at least the last three digits!”
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Good jokes
Two sharks are swimming along in the ocean when
They spot a windsurfer.
“Ooh, look, a snack!” cheers up the first one.
The second one nods appreciatively, “And on a nice little plate with a
Napkin, even!”
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Good jokes
Girls mostly treat me like a God. They totally forget
That I exist and only approach me when they need something.
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Good jokes
Днес шефът така дълго вика по мен, че най-накрая, без да искам, изръсих: Шеф меня так долго ругал сегодня, Today my boss shouted at me for so long that in the end I replied unintentionally:
My boss got really angry with me this morning. He kept shouting and cursing for at least an hour.
After a while my habits kicked in and at one point I said, “You’re right, honey.”
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Good jokes Boss Jokes
Аврам отишъл при равина и попитал: - Тато, сакам да живеам вечно, што да правам? Un uomo parla con genio della lampada e fa delle richieste. Uomo: "Genio, ho un forte desiderio di vivere per sempre... Cosa posso fare?" Genio: "Sposati!" Uomo: "E così vivrò per sempre?" Genio:...
The son asks his dad, “Dad, what can I do if I want To live forever?”
Dad replies,
“All you have to do is marry.”
The son is surprised,
“And that will really make me live forever?”
Daddy replies wearily,
“No, but the wish dies.”
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Good jokes Marriage and Family Jokes
I was picking up my girl. Her dad looked at me very
Sternly and said,
"I want her home by midnight, young man!"
I said,
"What do you mean? You already own her home!"
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Good jokes Men jokes
- Скъпии, направих ти палачинки, като извинение, че снощи ти ударих колата... – Драги, ти направив палачинки, како извинување зошто сношти ја чукнав колата. - Дорогой, я сделала блинчики и немного помяла машину. - Милый, привет! Я тебе сделала пельмени на ужин и чуть-чуть ударила машину... - Что ты сделала?! - Пельмени. Срце, ти направив колачи за да ти се извинам што ти ја изгребав колата. - Што си направила?!?!?! - Па ти направив колачињаааа!
- I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car.
- You did what?!
- Cookies. I made cookies for you.
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Good jokes Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes
I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you Seen my cat?”
So I called the number and said that I didn’t. - I like to Help where I can.
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Good jokes Pet Jokes
Astronaut's last words: ОМG guys, who farted? I have to open the window.
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Good jokes Fart Jokes Space jokes Last Word Jokes
I just like to sleep without clothes on. The air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding.
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Good jokes Flight attendant jokes
Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this.
Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
But sir, this is a buffet.
Pack it up I said!“
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Good jokes Waiter Jokes
Funny, those road signs:
"Caution - Watch for Children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?
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Good jokes
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