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A Spanish magician has a grand magical show and at the end he says he will disappear after counting to three. He starts to count, “Un, dos…”
Kazaam! He vanished without a tres.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!"
The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

Two underpans meet for a вееr.
“Why are you so brown?” asks one.
“Don’t ask. It was a really сrаррy week.”

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes Beer Jokes

The longest I’ve ever gone without a pun was 7 days.
Pretty weak.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

How can you detect a detective dog?
He’s the one with the good lead.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

“I love the feeling when I can make people open up to me.”
Mike, 48, surgeon

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

What does a CIA agent do when it’s time for bed?
He quickly goes under cover.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

We had a party in the office yesterday. As the evening progressed, a rather overweight female coworker of mine decided to dance on the table. I remarked: “Wow, really impressive legs!”
She blushed and asked if I really meant it. “Absolutely, Karen! An average table would have collapsed by now!”

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

A doctor got angry. He lost all his patients.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

A guy walks into a pharmacy: “I have extreme headaches, my belly cramps, I feel like I’m about to vомiт and my back hurts like something tears the muscles apart. Do you have something?”
Pharmacists: “Nope, I feel fine.”

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

I fear my stuttering brother may never finish his prison sentence.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

My socks got really holy. I can only wear them to church.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

Little Johnny and his father are in Ikea. Little Johnny ask loudly: “I need to рiss. I need to рiss! Please!!!”
The father is embarrassed and says,
“Please don’t yell рiss like that. Next time say that you want to sing.”
In the evening, mommy brings little Johnny and his sister to bed. She kisses them both good night, when suddenly little Johnny says,
“Mommy, I’d really like to sing.
The mother says, “I’m sorry but you can’t. Your sister’s already asleep.
“But I really need to sing”, insists Johnny.
The mother sighs, “Ok, but just very quietly into my ear”.

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Dark Humor Jokes Good jokes

Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

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Good jokes

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”

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Police Officer Jokes Car and driving jokes Good jokes

At a disco:
He: “Wow, what’s a cute girl like you doing in a corner all alone?”
She: “I had to fаrт.”

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Good jokes

I freaked out the electrician by opening the door nакеd. I couldn’t tell what gave him a вiggеr shock – whether the fact that I was nакеd, or that I got into his house.

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Good jokes

Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife:
"He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?"
"No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie."

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Men jokes Good jokes

I’m dating this wonderful girl and she has a twin. People often ask me how I can tell them apart – but it’s easy, really. Jane likes to paint her fingernails and Tom has a willie.

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Good jokes