Skip to main content

  • Home
  • Categories
  • Popular
  • Funny pictures
  • Most Popular Jokes
  • Latest Jokes
  • Jokes about Women
  • Religion jokes
  • Office and Work Jokes
  • Gross Jokes
  • Sports Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Marriage and Family Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Medical and Doctor Jokes
  • Dark Humor Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Dirty jokes
  • Chuck Norris Jokes
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drinking and Drunk Jokes
  • Putin Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Police Officer Jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Mother-in-Law Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Scottish Jokes
  • Soccer Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Dad Jokes
  • Gynecology Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
Вицове за Мъже Men jokes Männerwitze Chistes de hombres Анекдоты про мужчин Blagues sur les hommes Barzellette sugli Uomini ανέκδοτα για άντρες Вицеви за мажи Erkek Fıkraları Анекдоти про чоловіків Piadas sobre Homens Dowcipy o mężczyznach Mansskämt Mannen Moppen Jokes om mænd Vitser for menn Miesvitsit Férfiakról szóló viccek Bancuri cu bărbați Vtipy o mužích Juokai apie vyrus Joki par vīriešiem Vicevi o muškarcima
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Home
  2. Men jokes

Men jokes

Most popular in this category
The National Football League recently announced a new era. From now on, no offensive team names will be permitted. While the owners of the team rush to change uniforms and such, the National Football League announced, yesterday, its name changes and schedules for the '99 season:
The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People on opening day. Other key games include the Dallas Western-Style Laborers hosting the St. Louis Wild Endangered Species, and the Minnesota Plundering Norsemen taking on the Green Bay Meat Industry Workers.
In Week 2, there are several key matchups, highlighted by the showdown between the San Francisco Precious Metal Enthusiasts and the New Orleans Pretty Good People. The Atlanta Birds of Prey will play host to the Philadelphia Birds of Prey.
The Monday night game will pit the Miami Pelagic Percoid Food Fishes against the Denver Untamed Beasts of Burden. The Cincinnati Large Bangladeshi Carnivorous Mammals will travel to Tampa Bay for a clash with the West Indies Free Booters later in Week 9. And the Detroit Large Carnivorous Cats will play the Chicago Large Mountain Mammals.
Week 9 also features the Indianapolis Young Male Horses at the New England Zealous Lovers of Country.
0 0
0
Office and Work Jokes Sports Jokes Nationality Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes
A man goes into a coffee shop and says,
"I would like one of your special breakfasts."
"No problem," comes the reply from behind the counter.
"But I want it my way," says the man.
"What do you mean 'your way'?" asks the waiter.
The man says,
"Well, I want the eggs only half done," he says. "I want the baked beans done so they are baking hot on the top and freezing cold on the bottom. I want the bacon stuck to the plate with grease, with more rind than actual bacon. I want fried bread so greasy that the grease pours out of it."
"I don't have the time to do all that!" replies the waiter.
"Well it seemed you had the time yesterday!" answers the guest.
0 0
0
Men jokes
Never say anything bad about a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. By then he’s a mile away, you have got his shoes, and your can say whatever you want to.
0 0
0
Men jokes
On the base a Private First Class (PFC) was working in the car repair shop. The phone rang. He answered. The man on the phone asked,
"When will my car be fixed?"
The PFC replied, "Can't talk now I am working on some annoying General's car."
The man asked,
"Do you know who this is?"
"No."
"This is the ANNOYING GENERAL!"
The PFC quickly asked,
"Well, do you know who this is?"
"No."
"Good, goodbye!"
0 0
0
Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Military Jokes
Math problems were invented by men, just so women would be wrong some of the time.
0 0
0
Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Math Jokes
Arguing with white people about slavery is like you've been arguing with your man all day and all night. He's ready to go to bed, so he says he's sorry. But you ain't finished arguing, so you go, 'What are you sorry for?' He goes, 'I don't know, вiтсh. I'm just sorry!'
0 0
0
Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Weak men have a lover, strong men - three.
0 0
0
Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
My wife packed her bags and left. She said I’m too immature for a 40 year old man. …
…
I’m not immature. I told her to get the hеll out of my fort.
0 0
0
Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
A guy asked his lawyer, "If I pay off crooks, is it illegal?"
The lawyer replies,
"Yes, you'd be involved in a conspiracy."
"Good," said the man, been looking for a way to avoid paying my taxes!
0 0
0
Men jokes Political Jokes Lawyer Jokes
A little girl walked proudly into a dry goods store to buy material for a dress for her doll.
When she came to the cash register she asked, “What does this cost?"
"For a sweet little girl like you," replied the man (feeling generous)"I'll charge only one little kiss."
"Thanks" replied the tot. "Grandma said whatever it is, to charge it and she'll be by tomorrow to pay for it."
0 0
0
Kids Jokes Men jokes
A young man driving his convertible car with his loud music and cool demeanor pulls up to a stop light next to this young mother and 4 year old son. The little boy looks at the man and turns to his mom and says; “poor man his car is broken.”
0 0
0
Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
Doctor,” the man said to his ophthalmologist, “I was looking in the mirror this morning, and I notice that one of my eyes is different from the other!”
“Oh”? Replied the doctor “Which one?”
0 0
0
Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes
You know what cigarettes сrаск me up? The ones they market specifically towards women, like Virginia Slims: long, slim, pretty cigarettes with flowers around the end. Strong enough to кill a man, but made to кill a woman.
0 0
0
Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes
A man was prescribed Viаgrа by his doctor who told him to take it one hour before sеx.
The man collected his prescription and went home to wait for his wife to get back from work. An hour before she was due home, he took the Viаgrа pill. But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she wouldn’t be in for another 2 hours.
In a panic, he phoned the doctor. “What should I do?” he asked. “I’ve taken the pill but the effects will have worn off by the time my wife gets home.”
“I see” said the doctor “It is a pity to waste it. Do you have a maid?”
“Yes”
“Well, could you not occupy yourself with her instead?”
The man was silent for a few seconds, then said~ ~ ~
“But I never need Viаgrа with the maid”
0 0
0
Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
I got a massage today, which was pretty cool, you know. Except they gave me a man, which was a little weird, you know what I mean? At one point I was like, 'Is it normal to get an еrестiоn?' He goes, 'Sure.' I said, 'Well, can you get it out of my face?'
0 0
0
Dirty jokes Men jokes
A 4-year-old kid was at school and his teacher told him that his homework was to learn the first four letters of the alphabet. At home his mum was on the phone when he asked her what’s the first letter of the alphabet so she said “Shut up.” His dad was watching a football match when the kid asked him about the second letter of the alphabet so he said “YES YES YES!!!” because his favorite team had just scored. His brother was playing Bat-Man when the kid asked him what’s the third letter of the alphabet so he said “Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!!” and the kid went away, happy. His 2 and 3/4 year old sisters playing with her dolls when he asked her about the fourth letter of the alphabet so she said “On my voom voom car.” The next day at school when his teacher asked him for the first letter of the alphabet he said Shut Up, so the teacher asked him if he wanted to go to the principal’s office, and he said YES YES YES!!! At the principal’s office the principle asked him “Who do you think you are?” the kid replied “Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!!” so the principle said “How are you going to get out of this mess?” And the kid replied “On my voom voom car”
0 0
0
Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes
One day, while swinging through the jungle on a vine, Tarzan was passing close to the edge of a cliff when the vine broke, and he fell into the jungle far below. There he lay, in a coma for several days, before he was found by a jungle medicine man. The medicine man took him back to his hut, and did the best he could to repair, and heal Tarzan’s injuries.
Weeks later Tarzan woke up and the medicine man told him of his injuries. “Tarzan,” said the medicine man “you were severely injured in the fall, and I had to use what I had available to heal you. You lost your arms, so I replaced them with those from a gorilla. You lost your legs, which I replaced with those from a kangaroo. But I fear your worst injury was the loss of your реnis. But don’t worry, I was able to attach an elephant’s trunk which should serve you well.” He then told Tarzan to return in one month to up-date his progress.
One month later, true to his word, Tarzan returned. The medicine man asked how he was doing.
Tarzan said, “The gorilla arms have given me great strength.” He said. “I never need fear falling again. And the kangaroo legs have made one of the fastest creatures in the jungle. I can outrun just about any animal.”
The medicine man asked, “but what of the elephant’s trunk that replaced your реnis?”
Tarzan replied, “It serves me well, I have only one problem. Every time I bend over, it stuffs grass up my аss.”
0 0
0
Animal Jokes Men jokes
There's this man in the bar and he says to the bartender, "I'll bet you $500 that if you line up five empty вееr mugs that I would be able to рее in all of them without any mess." The bartender accepts the bet. Next thing you know the bartender lined up five empty вееr mugs. The man drops his drawers and starts to рее everywhere except in the five empty вееr mugs. The bartender laughs as the guy pays him the $500.
A woman sees all of this happening and asks the guy, "How come you're not sad about losing $500?" The guy told her, "It is because I had bet the bouncer $2,000 that I would рее all over the bar and have the bartender laugh about it."
0 0
0
Jokes about Women Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Two guys are at a bar, drunк and talking nonsense.
MAN 1: I am planning on buying the world.
MAN 2: That is crazy and makes no sense what-so-ever, you can't buy the world.
MAN 1: Why not?
MAN 2: Because, I am not going to sell it to you.
0 0
0
Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Man:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Wind window down
3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN
4) Retrieve cash
5) Drive away
Woman:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Open door (too far away from machine)
3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card
4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix hair
5) Insert Card
6) Remove card
7) Insert card the correct way up
8) Search for piece of paper with PIN on it
9) Enter PIN
10) Enter correct PIN
11) Retrieve cash, put in bag
12) Drive off
13) Reverse back to machine
14) Retrieve card
15) Drive three miles away
16) Release hand-brake
0 0
0
Jokes about Women Men jokes
  • Previous
  • Next
Privacy and Policy Contact Us