Men jokes

Most popular in this category
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
“Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really, really rich.” ***РООF*** her rocking chair turns to solid gold. She smiles and says, “Gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.” ***РООF*** she turns into a beautiful young woman. “Your third wish?” asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman’s cat wanders across the porch in front of them. “Ooh…can you change him into a handsome prince?” she asks. ***РООF*** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.
She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak.
He saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear:
“Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered!”
Jokes about Women Men jokes
This story takes place in the Great Depression era.
A man walks into a bar, he sees a donkey crying in the corner with a bucket of quarters next to him. He walks up to the bartender and asks, " What's wrong with the donkey? " The bartender replies,
" He's been crying all week, I can't get him to stop. He's been driving away all of my customers. " The man looks at the donkey and says,
" Can I be of help? " The bartender looks up at the man with a very excited face. The bartender says,
" If you could do that, the bucket of quarters is yours! " The man takes the donkey outside, then comes back in after a minute. The donkey is laughing. The bartender says,
" You did it! The bucket is all yours! " The man takes the bucket and walks home. A week later the man comes back to the same bar. He sees the donkey laughing again, and another bucket of quarters next to him. He asks the bartender, " What happened? There's nobody here! " The bartender says,
" The donkey has been laughing all week, he won't stop. Please, if you could, do your magic again to help him. I need my business. " The man takes the donkey outside, but this time, an hour passes, and he walks into the bar again. The donkey is crying. The bartender says,
" Incredible! You are truly magical! How on earth do you do it!? " The man replies,
" Well, the first time I did it, I told him my diск was вiggеr than his. He started laughing. Then, the second time I proved it to him. "
Men jokes
A man is hitch-hiking and picked up by a driver. While their in the car they start talking and having a conversation. First they're just talking. Then they start disagreeing. Then they start getting a little defensive. Then they start arguing. Then they start yelling at each other and cussing at each other. Finally the driver says "That's it get the hеll out my car". The hitch-hiker gets out and slams the door shut the driver starts driving at about 25 mph and notices the hitch-hiker is running next to the car with a furious look on his face ваnging on the window. The driver gets mad and speeds up to about 50 mph and notices the guy is still running right next to the car ваnging on the window. So the guy says "that's it I'm getting rid of this guy" and speeds up to 100 mph and the guy is still running right next to him yelling "pull over!". Finally the guy pulls over and says "Man you sure can run fast" and the hitch-hiker responds with "Well, you could too if your diск was stuck in the door."
Dirty jokes Men jokes
Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes
Wanting to find out if both his wife and his mistress were being faithful to him, Gary decided to send them on the same cruise and question each one later about the other’s behavior.
When his wife returned, he asked her about people on the trip, casually inquiring about the passenger who was his mistress when she mentioned the woman.
“Oh, that woman slept with nearly every man on the ship!” his wife reported.
Unhappy with this information, Gary planned a rendezvous with his cheating mistress and decided to question her about the trip before confronting her with what he knew.
Once again, he carefully inquired about the woman who was his wife after ascertaining that they had met.
“She was a real lady,” his mistress said.
Gary’s spirits picked up. “Why do you say that?” he asked.
“She came on board with her husband and never left his side.”
Jokes about Women Men jokes Cheating Jokes
A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, “Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you.”
The college guy says, “Right on, thanks a lot man.”
So the farmer says, “Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkn’ going on.”
College guy “Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine.”
Farmer “There is also going to be a lot of fightn’ so I hope you are ready.”
College guy “I have been working hard
All summer and I think I am in pretty good shape.”
Farmer says, “Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sеx?”
College guy “Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?”
Farmer says, “I don’t care it’s just going to be me and you.”
Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
A young couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred.
Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going!
She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried desperately to extricate her.
In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her nакеd and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominently visible between her splayed legs.
Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber, despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.
When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were walking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife was exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.
Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he could think of, his shoes, over his wife’s exposed privates.
The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented, “Well, I think I can save your wife, buddy, but her lover’s a goner.”
Men jokes Sex Jokes
Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes