Men jokes

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Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes
A suspicious looking man drove up to the border where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seems.
“Whats in here?” he asked.
“Dirt,” the driver replied.
“Take them out,” the guard ordered. “I want to check them out”
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and, sure enough, each one of them contained nothing more than dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go. For the next two months, the same guy came back each week, each time with sacks of dirt in his trunk and each time the guard searched them to find nothing more there. Finally, the guard became so frustrated he quit his job and became a bartender. Then one night the suspicious looking man came in for a drink. Hurrying towards him, the former guard said, “Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you’ll do me a favor: Just tell me what the fсuк you were smuggling all that time.”
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender’s ear and whispered, “Cars”
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The Amazing Jεw
(This gem is called “The Amazing Morty.”)
A traveling salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing. A sign read:
“Don’t Miss The Amazing Jεw.”
The intrigued salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, under the Big Top, in the center ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Jεwish man wearing a name tag with the name, ‘Morty’ written on it.
After the applause died down, Morty dropped his pants, whipped out the biggest sсhlоng any man could possibly dream of owning and smashed all the walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupted in applause and the old Jεwish man was carried off on their shoulders to the tune of Hava Nagila.
Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus and saw the same sign now faded,
“Don’t Miss the Amazing Jεw.”
He couldn’t believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket. Again, the center ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. There stood Morty before them.
The drum rolled, Morty dropped his pants and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with Morty after the show.
“You’re incredible,” he told Morty, “but I have to know something. When I saw your act 15 years ago and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?”
“Vell, I tell ya sompin,” said Morty,
“Me eyes ain’t vat dey used to be!”
Men jokes Disability Jokes
A man was traveling north to Dallas. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall. He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, "So how ya doing?"
The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides to answer. So he clears his throat and says,
"Uh.... I'm fine."
Then the stranger in the next stall says,
"So where are you headed?"
Again the man, a little nervous answers, "Uh... I'm headin north to Dallas."
Then the stranger asked,
"So what have you been up to?"
Again the man answers, "Not much, I'm actually on a business trip."
The man sat there waiting for another question when finally he heard the stranger in the next stall impatiently say, "Look, I'm going to have to call you back, some idiот in the next stall thinks I'm talking to him."
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