One-Liner Jokes

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Don't play with her heart, play with her воовs.

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One-Liner Jokes

If stress were a drug, I would be high as f*ck.

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One-Liner Jokes

I seen the most beautiful painting at the store the other day... But then I realized it was a mirror.

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One-Liner Jokes

Dear Santa,
I've been good all year. Okay most of the time. Once in awhile... fuск it I'll buy my own shiт.

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One-Liner Jokes

To be old and wise, you first must be young and sтuрid.

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One-Liner Jokes

I'm only a morning person on December 25th.

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One-Liner Jokes

The only reason I know how to spell beautiful is from Bruce Almighty.

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One-Liner Jokes

Im not saying she's a sluт, I'm just saying I've seen her vаginа on dirтy jobs.

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One-Liner Jokes

Everything is made in China. Except babies.. they're made in VaChina.

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One-Liner Jokes

The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn't even apply for a job there.

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One-Liner Jokes Police Officer Jokes

My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and маsтurватiоn. I'm always trying to pull a fast one.

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One-Liner Jokes

My baby son just said his first words, but also his last.
No one interrupts me when I'm talking.

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One-Liner Jokes

It's no shave November, Halo 4 & Black Ops 2 were released. Pregnancy rates are at an all time low.

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One-Liner Jokes

Commercials have introduced me to more new and interesting music in the last six months than MTV has in the last six years.

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One-Liner Jokes

I want my last words to be " hold my вееr and watch this shiт!"

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One-Liner Jokes

I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

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One-Liner Jokes

If your future self hasn't came back in time to tell you not to do it
Then it's not a bad decision...

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One-Liner Jokes

Everybody hates 'Crocs', but the company is worth over $2 billion?
Some of you motherf*ckers are lying.

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One-Liner Jokes

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.

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One-Liner Jokes

I'm not saying I'm Batman, I'm just saying you've never seen us in the same room.

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One-Liner Jokes