Relationship Jokes

Most popular in this category

I saw a little pamphlet called “The secret of a happy marriage” in the bookstore.
I wondered how such profound wisdom could be condensed into a booklet that small, and I gladly paid the asking price of 17.95 to finally master my relationship with the better half.
I opened it up and it contained one sentence:
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

0 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

3 reasons why my wife is like a freezer.
1. She never stops making a noise.
2. She can hold a lot of food inside her.
3. It can take hours of “defrosting” to make her wet.

0 0

Food Jokes Relationship Jokes

The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.
"Never let your husband see you in the nudе," she advised. "You should always wear something."
"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.
Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked,
"Dear, has there ever been any strange traditions in your family?"
"Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?"
"Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed."

0 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

(Modified from Rock-A-Bye Baby)
Hush-A-Bye Buddy
In our guest room,
It's been three weeks now
Are you leaving us soon?
We'll all miss your snoring
And carrying on,
But please won't you go back
To Boca Raton?

0 0

Relationship Jokes

My girlfriends dad is so religious he wouldn’t let us sleep together which is a shame because he’s a really attractive man.

0 0

Religion jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes Dad Jokes

Two girlfriends were talking to each other about relationships."I put an ad in one of those singles websites looking for a boyfriend."
"What kind of guy did you say you were looking for?"
"I wanted an ambitious guy who likes to dig in to get the job done and is really down to earth. I think I found him."
"So what does he do?"
"He's a grave digger."

0 0

Relationship Jokes

My house cleaner is really starting to become annoying. She keeps asking me to move out and says she wants a divorce.

0 0

Relationship Jokes

A married couple is having problems so they go to counseling. They sit down with the specialist and the wife points out the numerous problems with their marriage. After about 10 minutes, the specialist gets up, walks over to the wife and kisses her passionately. Then he tells the husband “now sir, if this happens 3 times a week your wife will feel much better about herself and your relationship.”
The man says; “well I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays but I go out drinking on Fridays.”

0 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Relationship Jokes

My wife asked me to make her scream last night while we were in bed so I poked her in the eyes.

0 0

Relationship Jokes

New Restroom signs:
Men to the LEFT!
Ladies to the RIGHT! (Easier to remember since they are always RIGHT!)

0 0

Men jokes Relationship Jokes

When thin men have sеx, it lasts less than 2 minutes. This is similar to Taylor Swift's relationship.

0 0

Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes

Why does Usain Bolt suffer from relationship problems?
Because he always comes first.

0 0

Sports Jokes Relationship Jokes

Ben was complaining to his friend Ralph about his new girlfriend. "I think Tonya is a hoarder. I went over to her place for the first time yesterday andeverywhere I looked, there were magazines. Dozens of them, strewn around everywhere. People, Good Housekeeping, Readers Digest, TV Guide, Life, Time, Newsweek. You name it, she had it."
"I wouldn't go out with her anymore if I were you," said Ralph.
"Why not?"
"She has issues."

0 0

Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

My wife left a note on the fridge this morning saying “This is not working, goodbye”. Just opened the fridge and it’s working fine, very strange!

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Relationship Jokes

Can’t believe how quickly the batteries keep running out on my smoke alarm. Really need to get my wife some cooking lessons this Christmas.

0 0

Christmas Jokes Relationship Jokes

My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up.

0 0

Relationship Jokes

My wife is never satisfied. Yesterday she complained that I never make bed in breakfast. Today she’s complaining because I put our bed in the kitchen.

0 0

Relationship Jokes

After having a wife for 10 years I finally understand why the word gаy also means happy.

0 0

Relationship Jokes

Today is my 5th Wedding Anniversary and it’s been a total nightmare. On the plus side I’m now no longer scared of terrorism.

0 0

Relationship Jokes

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, "Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied, "That would be my husband's check book."

0 0

Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes