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Relationship Jokes

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A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non- antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable for the farmer and his new bride.
While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways…
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, “The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy and I would nod my head and say ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would ask, ‘Can I borrow that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Not right now, it’s all booked up for the next six months.'”
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Jokes about Women Men jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes
Since my wife left me I’ve been left with a really big gap to fill.. She was quite fат and we had a memory foam mattress.
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Relationship Jokes Fat Jokes
Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me,"What's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust."
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Relationship Jokes
Q:What do you do if your wife keeps moaning at you?
A:Put the phone down and order another drink from the bar.
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Relationship Jokes
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns a beautiful blue-green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
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Relationship Jokes
Why wife loves to role-play in bed. She usually pretends to be a coma patient.
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Relationship Jokes
Last night my wife told me she doesn’t like giving bl*wjobs because her jaw starts to hurt. Seems to work fine when she talks for hours on end.
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Office and Work Jokes Relationship Jokes
Last night my wife asked me to treat her like a princess so I bought her a Mercedes and drove her into a wall.
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Relationship Jokes
Желба The Wishing Well Το πηγάδι Marito e moglie stanno facendo un viaggio e si recano in un posto famoso per un pozzo dei desideri. Un marido y su mujer están paseando por el bosque y descubren un pozo de los deseos. El marido lanza una moneda y pide un deseo... cuando la mujer se estaba acercando, de pronto se cae!... - Vaya que bien!!!... esto funciona - dice el marido. A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband... Ein Ehepaar steht an einem Wunschbrunnen. Der Mann beugt sich über den Rand, wirft eine Münze ins Wasser und wünscht sich etwas. Dann beugt sich seine Frau vor, allerdings etwas zu weit. Sie fällt... Et ældre ægtepar kommer til en ønskebrønd. Manden kaster en 25-øre i og ønsker. Konen tager derefter også en 25-øre og skal til at kaste den i, men kommer til at læne sig for langt ud over kanten,... Um casal encontra um Poço dos Desejos. O homem se inclina na mureta e joga uma moeda. A mulher decide fazer o mesmo, mas se inclina demais e cai dentro do poço. O homem fica espantado e depois... Marito e moglie stanno osservando il pozzo dei desideri..lei si sporge troppo e cade e lui: "Perbacco, funziona!" Marito e moglie durante un tour in Inghilterra trovano una ameno villaggio che si vanta di possedere un pozzo dei desideri tra le attrazioni turistiche. Quasi per gioco raggiungono il pozzo ed il... Pewien turysta wraz z żoną oglądają słynną studnię życzeń w Kornwalii. Oboje pogrążeni we własnych myślach. Po chwili żona wychyliła się, aby zajrzeć w głąb, straciła równowagę i wpadła do środka.... Семейство пътувало и видяло "Кладенец на желанията!" Жената се надвесила и паднала, а мъжът казал: - Я, те много бързо се сбъдват! My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. Aš buvau pritrenktas, kai mano uošvė įkrito į norų šulinį. Niekada negalvojau, kad jie veikia! Per il decimo anniversario di matrimonio, una coppia decide di fare un viaggio in Germania e durante il loro percorso attraverso la Selva Nera, si imbattono in un'indicazione che segnala: "Pozzo... Een echtpaar staat bij een wensput. De man buigt zich voorover, werpt een euro in het water en doet een wens. Dan buigt de vrouw zich voorover, maar iets te ver en ze valt in de put. De man kijkt... Moglie al marito: "Guarda un pozzo dei desideri! Andiamo a vedere" Si avvicinano per guardare e.. lei inciampa e cade giù Lui. "caxo, funziona!"
Last week my mother-in-law fell into a wishing well, can’t believe it actually worked.
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Office and Work Jokes Relationship Jokes
My wife is so selfish when we make love she screams out her own name.
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Relationship Jokes
Q. Why is Google like a woman?
A. Because it knows everything.
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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes
Two magnets were having a conversation. "I went on a blind date yesterday"
"Oh really…how did it go?"
"Unfortunately, not so well."
"Why not?"
"There was no attraction."
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Relationship Jokes
My girlfriend told me this morning she doesn’t trust me.
I guess that’s one more thing she has in common with my wife.
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Relationship Jokes
I have felt run-down for over a month, so I scheduled an appointment with my doctor. I told him my symptoms: Listless, depressed, no girlfriend, no dates, frustrated, no goal in life. The only bright spot in my life was waking up with “morning wood.”
My doctor took notes and I gave his office a urinе sample and I went to the blood center to give a blood sample.
I just got a call from him. I have a common Hawaiian disease. He said the cure was to get myself into a steady relationship with an understanding girlfriend.
“What is that Hawaiian disease called, doc?” I asked.
“It’s called ‘Lackanookie’.”
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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Relationship Jokes
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P. S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball lottery.
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Relationship Jokes
Last night my girlfriend told me I have the body of a god. Unfortunately that God was Bhudda.
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God Jokes Relationship Jokes
While out for dinner with my girlfriend, she started one of those "let's be honest with each other" conversations women are good at.
"I want us to be totally honest with each other," she said. "I really wish you would change."
"No problem!" I replied. "How about I change into your ex-boyfriend?"
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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes
My wife made me dress up as a policeman last night. I really didn’t feel like going into work but apparently my sergeant called and threatened disciplinary action if I didn’t turn up.
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Office and Work Jokes Police Officer Jokes Relationship Jokes
Brian and Dave were drinking down at the pub. Brian turned to his mate and said, “The thrill is gone from my marriage. What should I do?”
Dave thought for a moment and replied, “Why not add some spice and intrigue to your relationship by having an affair?”
“What if my вlооdy wife finds out?” Brian cried.
“Just be honest with her and tell her how you feel,” suggested Dave.
So Brian went home to his wife that evening and sat her down to have a talk. He said, “Honey, I love you very much but I think we’re sort of stuck in a rut. I think maybe if I have an affair, it will bring us closer together.”
“I doubt it,” she replied calmly. “I tried it last week and it didn’t fсuкing work.”
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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes
Why do brides wear white?
So the dishwasher matches the refrigerator.
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Relationship Jokes
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