Sports Jokes

Most popular in this category
Тръгнал един любител на зимния риболов за риба. Une blonde qui s'ennuie décide un jour de se trouver un hobby: la pêche sur lac glacé. Une fois installée sur la glace avec un petit tabouret, elle sort tout le matériel, l'équipement nécessaire, puis au moment de commencer à faire un trou dans la glace, une grosse voix retentit: - Il n'y a pas... Bellman skulle lära sig att fiska så han köpte ett metspö och en isborr och gick till en is men när han började borra så sa en röst över honom. - Det finns ingen fisk under isen Då gick Bellman...
Sports Jokes God Jokes Boss Jokes
A group of men go up into the mountains to go bear hunting.
The first morning out, Bill goes out on his own. He comes to a clearing on a hill overlooking a field and sees a bear slowly strolling across the field. He gets the bear in his sites and fires. He then looks all around, but he can't find the bear. All of a sudden, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around, and there's the bear. The bear knocks the gun out of his hands, and Bill stands there shaking in his boots. The bear yells at him, saying he's sick and tired of being shot at and gives Bill an ultimatum. The bear tells him that he can either drop to his knees and вlоw him, or the bear will eat his face. Bill immediately drops to his knees and obliges the bear. The bear walks away contented and Bill find his way back to the cabin. The next morning, Bill takes an even вiggеr gun with him and goes to the same place he saw the bear before. And sure enough, there was the bear strolling across the field again. Bill gets all excited, gets the bear in his sites and shoots! He looks all around, but there is no bear. All of a sudden he feels a tap on his shoulder again. He turns around, and, surprise, there's the bear. The bear looks at him, knocks the gun out of his hand, and says,''You know the routine.'' Bill drops to his knees and obliges the bear again. When he's done, the bear walks away smoking a cigarette and Bill stumbles back to his cabin. Bill is all рissеd off now. He grabs the biggest gun he can find and heads to the same spot again. And sure enough, there is the bear strolling across the field again. He gets the bear in his sites, and says to himself, ''Now this bear's gonna fuскin' get it!'' He pulls the trigger and, "Ka-BOOM!" He looks all over again, but no bear. Then, just as before, he feels the same tap at his shoulder. He turns around, there's the bear standing there with a big smirk on his face. He looks down at Bill and says, ''You're not in this for the hunting are you?'''
Sports Jokes
Sports Jokes
Sports Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round.
Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed.
The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?''
George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.''
''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
Sports Jokes Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumes, "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" the doctor asks.
The groundskeeper tells them that the other golfers are a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving the clubhouse from a fire and that they come and play for free whenever they want.
The group is silent for a moment.
The pastor says, "That's so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor says, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer says, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Sports Jokes
A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms.
She asks, ''What size please?'' ''Good question," he replies, " I'm not sure," ''Tell ya what. Right outside, there's a fence with three holes in it, stick your d**k in the holes and tell me which one it fits in,'' suggests the lady. So he takes her advice, goes outside and puts his d**k in the first hole. A woman walks past, see's his d**k and starts feeling it. The man thinks, ''Hey, this ain't too bad.'' Then he puts his d**k in the second hole, another woman walks by, and gives him a вlоw job. At this point, he is literally blown away. He quickly shoves his d**k in the last hole, and yet another woman walks by, and she starts to shаg him. After they are done rocking, he high-steps it back inside and goes to the counter. The assistant asks ''What size then?'' "Forget the condoms," says the man, "how much for the fence?"
Sports Jokes
This guy was driving along a country road. Along the side of the road he sees a sign: "Apples, $5.00 each." So he pulls over to the side of the road and asks the farmer why his apples are so expensive. The farmer says, "Well, these are peanut butter and jelly apples." So the guy buys one. He says, "These apples only taste like jelly, where's the peanut butter?" The farmer says, "Turn the apple over and take a bit of the other side." Sure enough the other side tasted like peanut butter.
So he continues on his way and along the side of the road he sees another sign: "Apples, $20.00 each." So he gets out and asks the farmer why these apples are so expensive. "These are ham and cheese apples," the farmer says. So the guy buys one. The apple only tasted like ham, so he asked the farmer why and he said, "Turn the apple over and you will taste the cheese."
Then he is driving down the road again and he sees another sign: "Apples, $50.00 each." So he asks the farmer, "What's up with these apples being so expensive?" The farmer tells him they are p***y apples. So the guy buys one. He takes a bite into the apple and says "This apple tastes like s**t!" And the farmer says, "Turn it over."
Sports Jokes