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Sports Jokes

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A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and tells the artist she would like two tatoos, one of Robert Redford on her left upper thigh, and one of Paul Newman on her right thigh. After hours of work the tatoo artist is finished and holds a mirror in between the womans legs for her to view.
The woman says,'' I dont know if these really look like Paul & Robert, and I ain't payin for this if it isn't right!'' She tells the artist she will go just outside the buisness and ask someone walking down the street if they know who the two men are on her thighs, if they answer correctly she would pay the artist.
She soon sees a man walking down the street, so she pulls up her skirt and asks him, '' Can you tell me who the man on my right thigh and the man on my left thigh are?''
The man replies, '' I dunno, but the one in the middle looks like Willie Nelson.''
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Sports Jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Maneuver:
Hey ваве, I'd like to try the Down and In maneuver on you. High five!
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Sports Jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Love Bowl:
Congratulations, you've ranked high enough in the polls to play in my Love Bowl. High five!
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Sports Jokes
What's the difference between basketball and sеx?
In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
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Sports Jokes Sex Jokes
Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
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Sports Jokes Nationality Jokes Insult Jokes What's The Difference Jokes
There were two little сrавs who met in Florida every year. One year when they arrived, one little crab was shivering terribly. The other crab asked why and he said, "I got a ride here on a man's moustache. He drove so fast, I was freezing."
"Well," the other crab said, "why don't you hide up a lady's skirt next year. Then you won't be as cold."
The little crab said, "Hey, that isn't a bad idea."
A year later, the two сrавs met at the same place, and the one little crab was shivering very badly again. The other crab asked if he had taken his advice and he said, "Yeah, I went and hid up a lady's skirt, but when I woke up in the morning I was on that's guy's moustache again!"
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Sports Jokes
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sеx with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sеx with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
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Sports Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Beauty Jokes Communication Jokes
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiот.
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Sports Jokes
Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A: A baseball team.
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Sports Jokes
King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade.
Before doing so he called to Merlin to devise a cunning chastity belt for Gwenivere. The belt contained a miniture guillotine. Upon his return, he called to his Knights of the Round Table and had them all sтriр from the waist down. One by one, he went to each knight and shook his head, telling all those whose members were missing to get out of his sight. That is until he came up to Lancelot. Seeing that Lancelot was intact, he exclaimed, ''Now I knew I could count on you to be trusted. Name anything at all and it is yours.'' Lancelot replied '' UNGH!UH! UNGH!'''
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Un chevalier part en croisade. Auparavant il met une ceinture de chasteté à sa jeune épouse, puis il convoque l'écuyer de la dame en disant : Крал Артур се е приготвял за кръстоносен похот. Преди да тръгне, Артур отишъл при най-верния си рицар - Ланселот и му казал: Ein Ritter rüstet zum Kreuzzug und legt seinem Burgfräulein standesgemäß den Keuschheitsgürtel an. Den Schlüssel übergibt er seinem zurückbleibendem Freund. So reitet er davon in die Fremde. A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: Ήταν ένας ιππότης που ζούσε με τη γυναίκα του και τους υπηρέτες του στο μεγάλο πύργο του. Κάποτε τον κάλεσε ο βασιλιάς να πάρει μέρος σε μια σταυροφορία. Μαζεύει λοιπόν τα πράγματα του, κλειδώνει και τη γυναίκα του με ζώνη αγνότητας και καλεί τον πιο έμπιστο υπηρέτη του και του λέει: - "Σου... O Rei Artur estava pronto para ir às Cruzadas e antes de partir, foi ver Merlin e pediu-lhe para que fabricasse o melhor cinto de castidade que pudesse existir, para que nenhum cavaleiro pudesse... De partida para a guerra, um soldado muito ciumento resolveu colocar um cinto de castidade na esposa, temendo ser traído. — Não é justo, posso morrer na guerra e minha mulher é muito jovem. Já sei,... Jef ging een wereldreis maken per fiets. Om toch te voorkomen dat zijn vrouw hem ontrouw zou worden doet hij haar een kuisheidsgordel om en sluit die af met een sleutel; De sleutel brengt hij naar... Król Artur szykował się na krucjatę i zawołał jednego ze swoich podwładnych i powiedział: - Tu jest klucz do pasa cnoty mojej żony. Jeśli nie wrócę wciągu 10 lat, możesz go użyć. Jego wysokość... Ritari oli lähdössä ristiretkelle. Ennen lähtöään hän luovutti uskollisimmalle palvelijalleen avaimen sanoen: - Tämä avain avaa vaimoni siveysvyön. Jos kuulet minun kaatuneen, voit antaa avaimen... Re Artu’ deve partire per la guerra. Preoccupato della fedelta’ di Ginevra si rivolge a mago Merlino. Questi confeziona una speciale cintura di castita’ che chiunque avesse tentato di intromettersi... La cintura di castità Sir Hector, ricco e potente signore di una contea nei pressi di Londra, riceve nella sala delle udienze del proprio maniero il messo di re Riccardo Cuor di Leone, in procinto... I de gamle dage, hvor riddere var modige og stolte, skulle en ridder på korstog og kaldte derfor på sin væbner. - “Jeg skal på korstog”, sagde han til væbneren. “Her er nøglen til min kones... Kyskhedsbæltet Kong Arthur var bekymret for at efterlade dronningen sammen med alle de liderilge riddere, når han tog på rejse, så han opsøgte Merlin for at spørge ham til råds. Han satte Merlin... Ein Ritter geht auf Kreuzzug und legt seiner Frau den Keuschheitsgürtel an. Nachdenklich, was nun mit seiner Frau geschieht, wenn er stirbt holt er seinen besten Freund zu sich. "Du bist mein...
Sports Jokes
One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work. He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa. So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fuскing her from behind. After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head.
His wife yells, ''What was that for!?''
To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''
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Sports Jokes Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
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Sports Jokes Insult Jokes
George of the Jungle lived all alone.
There was no one to have sеx with him, so instead he sсrеwеd a hole in a tree. One day, he found a woman in the jungle and the call to do the wild thing became too much. Soon they were making out and getting pretty hot and heavy until George kicked the woman in the crotch.
"What did you do that?" she exclaimed.
He replied, "Gotta check for squirrels."
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Sports Jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Goal:
Is your goalmouth open? High five!
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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Advantage:
Hey ваве, I promise I'll give you the home field advantage. High five!
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Sports Jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Bump:
Hey ваве, are you interested in a little bump and run? High five!
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Sports Jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Handler:
Hey ваве, are you a good ball handler? High five!
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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Blast:
When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!
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Sports Jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Defense:
Hey ваве, if you play man-to-man, I'll play zone. High five!
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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
Jоск Воотy Call... Bat:
Hey ваве, I got a Louisville slugger... in my pants! High five!
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Sports Jokes
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