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A selection of quotes from "I miss Dan Quayle".
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
- - J. Danforth Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- - J. Danforth Quayle
"Republicans understand the importance of воndаgе between a mother and child."
- - Vice President Dan Quayle
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
- - Vice President Dan Quayle
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
- - Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
- - Vice President Dan Quayle
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
- - Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
- - Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
- - Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89
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A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,
"OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
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