Women - Page 80

What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.

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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are sтuрid, but few are blind.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Stupid Jokes

A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature еjасulатiоn.
"Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man.
"No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her.
Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.
When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her.
She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.
Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead.
She screeched to a stop and ran into the lady's room.
Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out.
The three cops were standing their waiting for her.
Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."

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Jokes about Women Police Officer Jokes

A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an оrgаsм.
The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it.
The woman replied, snorting pepper.

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes

Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sеx with them.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sex Jokes

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

My sister was with two men in one night.
She could hardly walk after that.
Can you imagine?
Two dinners!

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

What is a buttress?
A female goat.

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart.
I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement.
Simply devastated.
Won’t you please consider coming back to me?
You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill.
I can never marry another woman quite like you.
I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning?
I love you so.
Yours always and truly,
John
P. S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

What do you call an open can of tuna in a lеsвiаns apartment?
Potpourri.

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Jokes about Women Food Jokes Lesbian jokes

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Соw on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the соw again?"

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

I had two women in my bed the other day.
I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lеsвiаn affair.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirтy Doctor," she said,
"I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said,
"Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman.
My wife put me off them.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

A retired couple had dinner at their friends’ house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went to the kitchen. The two men were talking and one said, “We've been going to a new restaurant and it’s really great.
I’d recommend it very highly.”
The other man asked, “What’s the name of the place?”
The first man thought awhile and finally said, “What are those flowers you send a woman you love?
The ones with red petals and thorns?”
“You must mean roses,” he replied.
“That’s it,” said the man.
He yelled to his wife, “Rose, what’s the name of the restaurant we like?”

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Old People Jokes Friendship Jokes

This black woman was vastly overweight, and I mean MASSIVE and she went to see the doctor about her weight.
She said to him, "Have you got any dieting remedies or anything that can help me loose weight?"
The doctor replies,
"Yes we do, all you need to do is shake your head from left too right, simple eh?!"
She says,
"WOW that's amazing, um... when do I do it?"
The doctor says,
"Next time your ordered food."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes