Donald Trump Jokes

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If I were American, I'd vote Bernie...
But I'm Russian, so I'm voting Trump

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Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion
Probably because Mexico has more aliens

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After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child.
Though to be fair, Trump probably had it coming.

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Not everything Donald Trump says is sтuрid.
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!

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Нiтlеr died in 1945, Donald Trump was born in 1946...
Coincidence? No.
Mystery? Maybe.
Hotel? Trivago.

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Donald Trump just turned 73
Which makes him the first President whose age surpassed his IQ.

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What is the difference between Russia and reality?
Trump had connections with Russia.

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Trump: I NEED those dragons

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Donald Trump - “I’m not orange!”
“Impeach.”

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Donald Trump is the next President but...
The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.

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"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Deport him and you never have to feed him again. Amen."
Donald Trump 20:1-7

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CNN Reporter: “ Sorry Sir, this isn`t syphilis

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I wish I had Trump as a teacher.
Citations would be easy
"You know it, I know it, everyone knows it"

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How do Mexicans feel about Trump’s wall? – They’ll get over it.

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Trump says to Obama “you know it’s the White House not the black house right?” And Obama says “yeah but it isn’t the orange house either.

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People compare Trump and Нiтlеr all the time, but there is one major difference.
Hitler was good at making speeches

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Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. – He wants to make America grate again.

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If Donald Trump and Mike Pence were on a stranded island, who would survive?
The United States of America

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