Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes

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Mr. John Smith was travelling home after the annual Christmas office party. …
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He had had far more than the legal limit to drink and was pulled off at the road block for an alcohol test.. …
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He was asked to get out his car. The police delayed quite a bit in attending to him (There were plenty of drunken drivers on the road that night), so he decided to go home. …
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The next morning at 6.00AM there was a knock on his door, and it was the traffic police officers who asked, “Why did you leave the roadblock last evening ?” … …
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Mr Smith denied this, saying that he was home the whole evening.
He was then instructed to open his garage door.
When this was done, the police officer asked him, “Mr Smith, if you were home all evening, can you please explain what this police car is doing in your garage ?”
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Полицай спира забързан минувач в 3 часа през нощта. След полунощ полицай спира шофьор Ein Mann wird um Mitternacht von der Polizei angehalten und gefragt Полиция останавливает мужчину в нетрезвом состоянии в час ночи. The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am. Пиян мъж върви по улицата. Среща го полицай: - Къде си тръгнал Ein Autofahrer wird nachts von der Polizei angehalten: "Wohin fahren Sie?" - "Zu einem Vortrag über Alkoholmissbrauch und Rauchen." - "Wer hält um diese Uhrzeit solche Vorträge?" - "Mein Frau!" A dokąd to obywatelu? - pyta policjant pijanego. - Idę wysłuchać kazania. - A kto wygłasza kazania o trzeciej w nocy?! - Moja żona. The man was in no shape to drive An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked wherehe is going at this time of night. The man replies Een dronken man besluit heel wijs zijn auto te laten staan en lopend naar huis te gaan. Als hij na een half uur zwalken over straat ineens word aangehouden door een agent. ‘Waar gaat U naar toe om... П'яний чоловік вночі йде по вулиці. Його зупиняє поліцейський: — Куди йдеш? — Іду слухати лекцію про шкоду алкоголізму. — О третій годині ночі?! Хто ж тобі буде її читати? — Моя дружина і теща! Запира полицаец возач во 4 сабајле и му вика: - Каде одиш? - На предавање. - На какво предавање? - На предавање за морални вредности Полицаец застанува пијан маж и го прашува: - Каде сте тргнале толку доцна навечер? - На предавање. - Е како да не. Кој држи предавања во ова време?! - Жена ми!! Sustabdė naktį policininkas girtą žmogelį ir klausia: - Pilieti Un homme âgé est arrêté par la police vers 2 heures du matin et on lui demande où il va à cette heure de la nuit. L’homme répond: - « Je suis en route pour une conférence sur l’abus d’alcool et les... A man is staggering home drunk late at night when he’s stopped by a policeman. ‘What are you doing out here at this time of night?’ asks the officer. ‘I’m going to a lecture Een oudere man wordt om 2 uur ’s nachts door de politie staande gehouden en wordt gevraagd waar hij om deze tijd naar toe gaat. Hij antwoordt: “Ik ben op weg naar een lezing over misbruik van...
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Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place….
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hеll - they don’t even serve food anymore, so
What’s the loss?
The strippers would at least triple
The alcohol sales and get a ‘party atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see nакеd women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and ‘special services.’
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing nакеd women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right - a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn’t Bush or Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
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