It was one of those familiar nights: seeing double, wondering how I kept the car on the road and then blacking out and falling on the stairs… When I came to, I steadied myself, walked up the stairs, and swore to myself, “never again.” Then I walked by the bathroom at the top of the stairs, and the toilet looked at me, and I looked at the toilet, and I said, “I got away with it.” And the toilet said, “No you didn’t. Get over here and pray to me, you аsshоlе.”
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