Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes
Ralph comes home drunк, crawls in bed with his wife, passes out.
He wakes up in front of St. Peter. “Where am I?” yells Ralph.
“Why you’re in heaven my son.”
“I can’t be, too much yet to do in life,” replies Ralph.
“Well, you are here,” says St. Peter.
“I’ve got to go back, can you send me back?” says Ralph.
St. Peter tells Ralph that he could send him back as a chicken.
Ralph asks if he could be placed on a farm near his home.
All the sudden Ralph the hen is clucking, pecking in the barnyard. Rooster walks up and says, “You must be the new hen; how do you like it here?”
Ralph says “everything’s ok, except I feel bloated, like I’m about to explode.”
Rooster says, “you’re ovulating, going to lay an egg, You never laid an Egg?”
Ralph says, “no, never laid an egg.”
Rooster says, “take it natural, go with the flow, you’ll be fine.”
So Ralph the hen lays an egg, felt absolutely wonderful, lays another, felt even better. Right in the middle of laying his third egg; Ralph the hen feels a rap on the back of his head.
Hears his wife yelling, “Ralph wake up, You just crapped the bed!”