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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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Wedding jokes Money jokes Animal Jokes
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey.
The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great рот.
So the little lizard climbed up the tree.
The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint.
The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth.
Well there is a river just down there.
So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water.
All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water.
Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got sтоnеd with my pal the monkey."
"Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some."
He is through the brush and up the tree.
So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree.
The monkey said "holy shiт how much did you drink little buddy."
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Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Drug Jokes
A farmer brought his daughter a little рот-belly pet pig.
She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty.
"Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?"
"That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
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Farmer Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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Religion jokes God Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
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Animal Jokes
Q: What kind of candy do Indians give out on Halloween?
A: Dots.
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Halloween Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher-
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Animal Jokes Boss Jokes
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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Food Jokes Animal Jokes
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes
The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
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Judge and Court Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Hunting Jokes Lawyer Jokes
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the аss.
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Yo Momma Jokes Animal Jokes
Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
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Yo Momma Jokes Money jokes Animal Jokes
Q: Why do dogs liск their ваlls?
A: Because they can.
Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches?
A: Same reason.
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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Dog jokes
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.
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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Question: Why does Tigger smell?
Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes
Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday, and three days later, he leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
A: The horse's name is Friday.
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Blue Collar Jokes Animal Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle?
Because there were too many cheetahs.
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Animal Jokes
Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A: If it had four, it would be a sedan.
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Animal Jokes Car and driving jokes
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife?
He was an aunteater.
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Cannibal Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
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Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes
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