Animal Jokes

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Каква е разликата между комара и блондинката? Цицање Плавуша и комарец Η Ξανθιά και το κουνούπι Quelle est la différence entre les moustiques et les femmes ?Les moustiques, quand ils sucent, ils avalent, eux. Connaissez-vous la différence entre un moustique et une blonde? Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einer Blondine und einem Blutegel? Wenn man dem Blutegel auf den Kopf haut, hört er auf zu saugen. Која е разликата помеѓу плавуша и комарец? Комарецот откако ке го удриш престанува да цица! Vous savez quelle est la différence entre une blonde et un moustique ? Et bien le moustique arrête de sucer quand on lui tape sur le front. Vad är det för skillnad på en mygga och en blondin? Blondinen får suga färdigt. Quel est la différence entre un moustique et une prostituée ? Quand tu tapes le moustique il arrête de te sucer Hvad er forskellen på en myg og en blondine? – Myggen stopper med at suge når man klapper den. Hvad er forskellen på en blondine og en myg? Hvad er forskellen på en blondine og en myg? - En myg holder selv op med suge, når den har fået nok! What’s the difference between a blonde and a masqueto? A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it Hvad er forskellen på en myg og en kvinde? Kvinden får lov til at sutte færdig, før hun får et klask i røven! Wat is het verschil tussen een dom blondje en een mug? Een mug houdt op met zuigen als je hem slaat en een dom blondje niet? Hva er forskjellen på ei blondine og en mygg? - Blondinen fortsetter å suge dersom du klapser til henne.. Mitä eroa on sääskellä ja blondilla? - Sääski lakkaa imemästä jos sitä lyö. - Vad är det för skillnad på en rysk ubåt och en blondin? - Väldigt få har varit inne i en rysk ubåt. - Vet du vad det är för skillnad mellan en mygga och en blondin ? - Man sl�r myggan innan den har sugit f�rdigt - Vad är det för skillnad på en kvinna och en mygga? - Myggan låter man inte suga klart. Kuo skiriasi blondinė nuo uodo? Tuo, kad uodui davus per galvą, jis nebečiulpia... Sapete quale è la differenza tra una zanzara e una donna? che la zanzara rompe solo d'estate la donna tutto l'anno.
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The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter.
The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.
But then he said that he could recognize any animal’s skin by feeling it, and he could tell what caliber rifle was used to shoot it by locating the bullet hole.
This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument started.
The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the BET was on.
They blindfolded him and took him to his first animal skin.
After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, “Springbok.”
Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, “And it was shot with a 22 rifle.”
He was right!
The others could not believe it and the argument was even hotter than before.
When someone suggested that he must have peeped, he said that he was prepared to do it again for another round.
So they blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and they brought a skin that someone happened to have in the trunk of his car.
He took a bit longer this time and then said, “Kalahari Lion.”
Fingering the bullet hole, he added, “The rifle was a 308.”
He was right again!
This only made the crowd more curious, and he had to prove his skills over and over again, every time winning a round of drinks.
Finally he staggered home, bombed out of his mind, and went to sleep.
The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hеll of a shiner.
So he said to his wife, “Listen, I know I was drunк last night, but not too drunк to know that I didn’t get into a fight. So where did I get this black eye?”
His wife replied angrily, “From me!”
“What did I do?” he asked.
She replied, “You got into bed and put your hand inside my раnтiеs. Then you fiddled around a bit and announced, ‘Skunk, killed with an ax!’”
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A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey.
The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great рот.
So the little lizard climbed up the tree.
The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint.
The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth.
Well there is a river just down there.
So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water.
All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water.
Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got sтоnеd with my pal the monkey."
"Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some."
He is through the brush and up the tree.
So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree.
The monkey said "holy shiт how much did you drink little buddy."
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