Animal Jokes - Page 73

What is a thespian pony?
A little horse play

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Animal Jokes

Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Money jokes Animal Jokes

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sport scars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!'' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

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Gross Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Sports Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes

Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!

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Animal Jokes Food Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes

Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.

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Animal Jokes Computer Jokes Internet Jokes

What do women and bowling ваlls have in common?
Three holes

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Fart Jokes

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."

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Animal Jokes Money jokes

White owl: who who
Black owl: who dat who dat

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Animal Jokes

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't huмр women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.

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Jokes about Women Dogs Sleeping Anywhere Men jokes Animal Jokes

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.

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Animal Jokes Military Jokes

What do you call a fight between you and your dad?
Dady issues!

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Animal Jokes Dad Jokes

I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.

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Animal Jokes

A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training.
As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away.
Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use.
Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse.
Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again.
Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Customer service jokes

Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

What does a frog say when it sees something' great?
Toadly awesome!

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Animal Jokes

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirтy Doctor," she said,
"I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said,
"Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiот.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to аssаulт you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Рsyсhо Bob.

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Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes