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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's sсrеwing a chicken.

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God Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Easter Jokes Holiday Jokes

Q: Why do farmers put bells on cows?
A: Their horns don't work.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a centipide with a parrot?
A: A walkie-talkie.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
A: Jurrassic Pork.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
A: Bacon and legs.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs?
A: Anything you want - he can't hear you.

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

What did the father buffalo say to the son buffalo when he left for school?
Bison!

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Animal Jokes School Jokes

Q: A man rides in on Friday, stays two nights three days and then leaves on Friday.
How is that possible?
A: His horse was named Friday.

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Animal Jokes

Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.

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Animal Jokes

Q: Why don't chickens wear underwear?
A: Because their peckers are on their faces!

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Animal Jokes

What, Exactly, Are Cats?
1. Cats do what they want, when they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They're totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play they want to be left alone. 6. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 7. They expect you to cater to their every whim. 8. They're moody. 9. They leave their hair everywhere. 10. They drive you nuts. Conclusion: Cats are small women in fur coats.

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Animal Jokes

What Came First...
Q: Why does a chicken lay eggs?
A: Because if she dropped them, they'd break.

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Animal Jokes

When Beasts Speak!
What did the cat say to the mouse?
"The human telling this joke is attempting to anthropomorphise us!"

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Animal Jokes

Which Way?
Q: There is a house. The front is facing south and the back is facing north. The right side is facing west and the left side is facing east. If a rooster lays an egg on top of the house which way will it roll?
A: No direction: roosters don't lay eggs.

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Animal Jokes

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An embarassed zebra!

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Who is Marylou?!?
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head.
"I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation."
"Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."'
The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.
"What was that for?" he complained.
"Your dog called last night."

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes Coffee Jokes

Where do you get Virgin Wool?
From an ugly sheep!

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Animal Jokes

What animal should you never play cards with?
What animal should you never play cards with? A cheetah!

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Animal Jokes

How Do You Catch?
How do you catch a unique animal?
You 'neak up on it.

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Animal Jokes

oh crap, was that today? oh crap, was that today?!

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Animal Jokes