Beer Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Beer first

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes

The CEOs of Budweiser, Coors, Killian's, and Guinness walk into a bar and the bartender takes orders.
The CEO of Budweiser says
"I'll take a Bud Light. It's crisp, refreshing, and doesn't hurt the budget!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Coors says
"I'll take a Coors light. It's colder, even more refreshing, and won't give you a вееr gut!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Killian's says
"These guys are amateurs, give me a Killian's Irish Red. It's smooth, flavorful, and distinct!"
The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Guinness says
"I'll have a water."
The others give a confused look. The bartender says "but... why aren't you ordering a вееr?"
He responds, "well, nobody else did."

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Beer Jokes

My wife crashed her car yesterday. She told the Police that the man she collided with was on his mobile and drinking вееr from a can at the time.
The Police said that the gentleman was entitled to do what ever he wanted in his own back garden.

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Police Officer Jokes Wife jokes Beer Jokes

An engineer and a scientist walk into a dive bar....
Smiling, happy, the engineer says,
"Bartender, shots for everyone!"
The bartender leans in, confused, "I can tell you're not from around here. Are you sure you want to buy these people drinks?"
The scientist retorts with, "Make 'em doubles!"
The bartender deploys the drinks to everyone around the smoky bar, the newcomers raise their glasses, and everyone drinks.
The scientist and the engineer then pay their substantial tab, leave a generous tip, and pull away in a Tesla. Naturally, everyone is a bit confused about what just happened, but before long everyone gets back to NASCAR, NFL, Fox, country music, cigarettes, cheap вееr, Trump, and arguing about Ford versus Chevy.
While the engineer sets the car to autopilot, the scientist pulls up this very joke, half composed, on his iPad, and with furrowed brow says,
"We still need a punch line."
The engineer nods in affirmation, and says,
"Look in the rear view mirror."
He looks. The small dive bar recedes into the darkness as the Tesla picks up speed, rapidly and silently.
"They don't even remember us. We worked our аssеs off, moved away to the city, competed with the brightest kids from around the globe, earned advanced degrees, and now we challenge global warming by designing advanced battery systems for electric cars. We have made a fortune along the way. I am 28. You are 29. Those townies will live and die back there. By choice. 14 mile per gallon trucks. Shiт вееr. Staying, sitting, stewing, and waiting for progress to come to them.
"There's your f-ing punch line."

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Chevy jokes Aviation Jokes Beer Jokes Pilot Jokes American Presidents Humor

Confucius say, sеx on beach like American вееr - fuскing near water

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Confucius say jokes American Jokes Beer Jokes

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite вееr mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

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Morbid jokes Beer Jokes

12. Where do monkeys go to grab a вееr? The monkey bars!

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Monkey jokes Beer Jokes

When Beerus meets Goku, what does he say? You should tell your son to "Gohan" back home.

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Anime jokes Beer Jokes

How do you know when a tree has had too much root вееr?
He won’t stop texting his ax.

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Tree jokes Beer Jokes

What do basketball cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game?
Root вееr!

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Basketball jokes Beer Jokes

An SEO marketer walks into a bar…
bars, tavern, pub, public house, Irish pub, drink, drinks, liquor, вееr, alcohol…

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Marketing jokes Beer Jokes

18 year olds: "Can I please have a cigarette? Or a вееr?" US government: Best I can do is war

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Beer Jokes Political Jokes USA Jokes

She: My name is Carmen cause I like cars & men. What's your name?
Me: Beerpussy

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Men vs Women Jokes Beer Jokes

You want a вееr Joe??!
Isn't it too early?!!
Too early for a вееr??!
No, for sтuрid questions!!

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Beer Jokes

If your вееr smiles at you, drink it!

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Beer Jokes

My doctor advised me to replace my glass of вееr with a рот of yogurt... There you go!

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Beer Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

And that, kids, is how I met your mother.

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Beer Jokes Movie jokes

Soup of the day

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Beer Jokes

Вееr works wonders

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Beer Jokes

Finally kids without smartphones

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Sports Jokes Kids Jokes Beer Jokes