Blonde Jokes - Page 32

It was mealtime during a flight on Blonde Airlines.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

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A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes

Norris and Fallon died in a hunting accident. Norris goes to heaven and Fallon goes to hеll. One day Norris looks down at Fallon in hеll. Fallon has a вееr in his hand and a blonde on his lap. Norris gets рissеd off so he goes to God and says, "What is this shiт? I think I want to go to hеll! Just look at my friend down there." God says, "Look closer, the вееr has a hole in the bottom and the blonde doesn't."

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Religion jokes Blonde Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Beer Jokes

A Blonde was siting in a barber chair with headphones on. The barber asked the blonde to take off her headphones, she replied "No I can't". So the Barber waited for the Blonde to fall asleep then he took off her headphones. Idmeniently she died. During the police Investigation one of the officers listend to the tape the blonde was listning to. This is what he heard:
"Breath in, Breath out, Breath in, breath out.....

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Blonde Jokes Hairdresser Jokes

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes.
How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.
How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
There's writing on the white-out.
How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
There is a stamp on it.
How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

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Blonde Jokes Coffee Jokes

Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one about three feet from the cup, while the other somehow had gone directly in. They tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number threes. Unable to decide, they returned to the Club House and asked the golf pro for a ruling. After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions he asked,
"OK, so who was playing the yellow ball?"

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Blonde Jokes

Dear John, I am sending you this letter in a bogus software company envelope so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your IBM computer entered our lives two years ago. The children are doing well. Tommy is 7 now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project. All the figures were good, but yours was excellent! The chair and the back of your head are very realistic. You would be proud of him. Little Jennifer turned 3 in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Jen, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out. I am also doing well. I went blonde about a year ago and was delighted to discover that it really is more fun. Lars--I mean Mr. Swenson, the department head, has taken an interest in my career and has become a good friend to us all. I have discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you don't mind being vacuumed around, although that feather duster does make you sneeze. The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last spring. I'm not sure if you noticed it. I made sure that the painters cut air holes in the drop cloth so you wouldn't smother. Well, dear, I must be going. Uncle Lars - Mr. Swenson, I mean, is taking us all on a ski trip and there is packing to do. I have hired a housekeeper to take care of thing while we are away. She'll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup, and bring your meals to your desk, -just the way you like it. I hope you and IBM have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy, Jen and I think of you often - try to remember us while your disks are booting. Love, Angela.

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Blonde Jokes School Jokes Coffee Jokes

A blonde was filling out a job application form. She quickly filled out the columns entitled: Name, Age, Address, etc. Finally, she came to the column: Salary Expected. She wrote, "YES."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

This blonde had a near death experience the other day. She climbed on top of a horse, and all of a sudden it started moving. She was a little frightened, this was her first time, but she kept on the horse. Then the horse started going fast and got out of control, and the blonde couldn't stay on, she fell of, but her foot got stuck, and she was dragging on the ground. She started screaming, and was in great pain. Then the wal-mart manager came outside and unplugged the horse.

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Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes

Sally and Brenda (both blondes) exited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key, which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Sally asked,
"Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it."
"No, that won't work" answered Brenda. "People will think we're trying to break in."
So Sally suggested, "What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?"
"No," said Brenda. "People will think we're too dumb to use a coat hanger."
"Well," sighed Sally, "we'd better think of something fast. It's starting to rain, and the sun roof is open!"

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Blonde Jokes

A beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy that's so homely looking, he hasn't had a date in over a year, also, he's so dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his head to see how long he slept.
So he figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score a date with this ravishing buxom blonde.
Then suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender calls out last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and says,
"Let's have this last drink at my apartment."
Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters the word, "OK."
They get up from the bar stool arm and arm headed for the door, when the blonde stops him and says,
"Before we go back to my apartment there's one thing I have to tell you, I'm on my menstrual cycle."
He says,
"That's ok, I'll follow you in my Honda."

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Blonde Jokes

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Did you hear why they closed the Kingdome?A: While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.
After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said,
"I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

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Blonde Jokes Christmas Jokes

Two young blonde women are sitting at a bar in such an obviously celebratory mood that the bartender drifts over intending to offer them a drink on the house. When he gets close he hears one say to the other "Here's to 17 days!"Smiling, the bartender says,
"Congratulations! What's so special about 17 days?"Eyes twinkling, one of the women explains, "Well, we've been spending our evenings working on a jigsaw puzzle! And it said 3-5 years on the box, but we finished it in only 17 days!"

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Blonde Jokes

Why did the Blonde cross the road? Who cares, what the hеll is she doing out of the kitchen!

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, "Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lеsвiаn." The blonde goes over to her anyway and says,
"So which part of Lesbia are you from?"

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? So her male would get delivered to the right box. Submitted by Calamjo Edited by Tanyilazing

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Sitting together on a train was Obama, George Bush Jr., a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large вrеаsтs.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.
No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.
The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried to grоре me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.
Obama thinks: Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
George Bush thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack Obama again.

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Blonde Jokes Obama jokes American Presidents Humor

A blonde and a redhead are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad.
Just before the squad fires, the redhead points and yells, "Tornado!" The terrorists run in all different directions, and the redhead escapes.
When they realize what has happened, the terrorists come back to where the blonde is still standing. They raise their rifles, and thinking quickly, the blonde points and yells, "Fire!"

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Terrorist jokes