Blonde Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Една блондинка заварва мъжа си с любовница в кревата. Вади от чекмеджето пистолета и го опира в главата си:,– Недей скъпа, не прави тази грешка, няма вече да правя така!,– Млъкни, мръснико, защото ти си следващият! Блондинка поняла, что ее парень ей изменяет.,Она взяла пистолет, ворвалась в гостиничный номер.,И увидела парня в постели с рыжей.,Она приставила пистолет себе к голове.,- О, нет! Не делай этого - крикнул парень.,- Заткнись! Ты следующий! - ответила блондинка. Uma loira estava preocupada pois achava que seu marido estava tendo um caso. Um dia ela volta para casa mais cedo e encontra seu marido na cama com uma ruiva espetacular. Ela saca uma arma e aponta para a própria cabeça. O marido pula da cama, e interrompe: — Não querida, não faça isso... Aos...
Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road.
He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job.
He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started.
After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift.
He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress.
On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road.
Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway.
He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again.
On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road.
He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?”
“Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”
Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Boss Jokes
There were two brothers. One was very good and tried to always live right and be helpful.
His brother, on the other hand, was bad and did all the things that men should not do and didn’t care who he hurt.
The bad brother died.
The good brother missed him despite his ways.
Finally, years later, the good brother died and went to Heaven.
Everything was beautiful and wonderful there and he was very happy.
One day he asked God where his brother was, as he hadn’t seen him there.
God said that he was sorry but his brother lived a terrible life and went to Неll instead.
The good brother then asked God if there was any way for him to see his brother.
So God gave him the power of vision to see into Неll and there was his brother.
He was sitting on a bench with a keg of вееr under one arm and a gorgeous blonde on the other.
Confused, the good brother said to God, "I am so happy that you let me into Heaven with You. It is so beautiful here and I love it. But I don’t understand, if my brother was bad enough to go to Неll, why does he have the keg of вееr and a gorgeous blonde? It hardly seems like a punishment."
God said unto him, "Things are not always as they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it; the blonde does not."
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Две блондинки седят и си говорят: Две блондинки си говорят: - Муцка, ти как мислиш, кое е по-близо - Лондон или Луната? Што е подалеку Двете плавуши сериозно разговараат: Па, мила, што мислиш што е поблиски Месечината или Лондон? Еј што си глупа, па можеш ли да го видиш Лондон од тука? Q. Which is closer, Florida or the moon? So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?" She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it. TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night. Le pregunta una rubia a otra: - ¿Qué queda más lejos, Brasil o la luna? - ¡Ay tontaaaa! ¿Acaso podés ver Brasil desde aquí? Estaban dos chavas fresas y una le dice a la otra: - Oye, ¿que esta mas cerca la luna o londres? Y le contesta: - Ay! no seas ****a apoco desde aqui ves londres! Eran 2 rubias y una le pregunta a la otra Oye q queda mas lejos londres o la luna Y la otra responde tu si q eres bruta acaso ves londres Was ist weiter weg Unterhalten sich zwei Blondinen. "Sag mal, was ist eigentlich weiter weg: London oder der Mond?",- "Hallooooo? Hör ma! Kannst du London von hier aus sehen?" In Erdkunde prüft die Lehrerin ihre Schulklasse auf Herz und Nieren: "Was ist näher: Der Mond oder China?" Christoph in der ersten Bank meint: "Ich glaub, der Mond ist näher. Denn den sehe... Deux blonds discutent. L'un d'elle dit : Deux mec bourré discutent en fumant leurs cigarettes devant un bar : - A ton avis, qu'est-ce qui est plus proche de nous, la lune ou l’Amérique ? - Ben la lune, mec ! - Tu es sure ? - Ben ouai,... Το φεγγάρι ή η Καβάλα; Το φεγγάρι ή η Κίνα; Μια ξανθιά αναρωτιέται τι είναι πιο κοντά, το Λονδίνο ή το φεγγάρι και ρωτά μια φίλη της. Αυτή της απαντά: - Helooooo!Το Λονδίνο το βλέπεις από εδώ? Öğretmen emine'ye sorar: - Söyle bakalim yavrum,hindistan mi daha uzaktir yoksa ay mi? - Hindistan daha uzaktir hocam. - Nasil olur kizim? - Öğretmenim,bazi geceler ay'i görebiliyoruz,ama... Duas amigas loiras conversam e uma pergunta para a outra: - Powiedz, czy dalej od nas są położone Chiny czy Księżyc? - pyta nauczyciel. - Panie psorze, myślę, że jednak Chiny. - A na jakiej podstawie tak twierdzisz? - Bo Księżyc już widziałem nieraz, a... Frida, vad ligger längst bort? Frankrike eller månen? - Frankrike! - Men Frida! Hur kan du tro det? - Jag kan ju se till månen men inte till Frankrike... Det var två blondiner som satt på en kulle och filosoferade. Då sa den ena: - Vilket tror du är kortast? Till månen eller Malmö? - Dööö...?! Månen såklart! Ser du Malmö eller? Två blondiner sitter på ett berg i Örebro, när den ene plötsligt frågar: - Vilket är närmast, Borås eller månen? - Meen daaaaa! Ser du Borås härifrån eller? Två blondiner sitter på en bänk och filosoferar. Den ena frågar sin kompis: - Vilket ligger närmast oss, månen eller Borås? Kompisen svarar: - Mohahaha! Vadå, ser du Borås, eller?! Det var två blondiner som satt på en bänk i Trollhättan och diskuterade, när den ena frågade: - Vart är det längst, till Månen eller Borås? Då svarade den andra: - Men hallååååååååå, ser du Borås... Den ene blondine spørg den anden, blondine om hvad der ligger længst væk, London eller månen. Den anden blondine svarer, er du dum eller hvad, kan du måske se London her fra? 2 blondiner sidder og snakker... 2 blondiner sidder og snakker og pludseligt siger den ene: - Hvor er der længest til - månen eller London? Så svarer den anden med et grin: - Doorh, kan du måske se... Blondinen Der var en blondine og mand. Blodinen spørger manden hvad der ligger tættets på, London eller månen? Manden siger London og blondinen siger: - Hallo kan du se London herfra? - Hva er egentlig nærmest: månen eller Afrika? - Å din tullebukk! Det er selfølgelig månen. Afrika kan man jo ikke se herfra. To blondiner snakket sammen i Oslo. Den ene spurte den andre: – Hva er nærmest? Bergen eller månen? – Månen selfølgelig! Kan du se Bergen, kanskje? Kumpi on kauempana, Ranska vai Kuu? Ranska. Miksi niin luulet? Koska voin nähdä Kuun, mutta en näe Ranskaa. Pepíček u tabule. „Pověz mi, co je dál - Měsíc nebo Čína?” „Čína.” „A proč?” „Měsíc vidím každý den, ale Čínu jsem ještě neviděl!”
Blonde Jokes
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady, limping slightly, and with a cane, slowly walks up to the moving walls, and presses a button. The walls opened, and the lady walks between them, into a small room. The walls closed.The boy and his father watched as small circles of lights with numbers above the wall light up. They continued to watch the circles light up, in reverse direction now. The walls opened up again, and a beautiful young blonde stepped out...The father said to his son,
"GO GET YOUR MOTHER!!!"
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Blonde Jokes
One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
The livestock dealer said,
"Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking he met a blonde young lady with rather large beautiful вrеаsтs. She told him she was lost, and asked,
"Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said,
"Well, as a matter of fact, I'm going to visit my brother at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We'll save half the time to get there".
The fair young lady said,
"How do I know that when we get in to the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull down my skirt and ravish me?"
The farmer said,
"I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, 2 chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The young lady said,
"Easy silly! Set the goose down, put the bucket over the goose, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the friggen chickens!"
Blonde Jokes
Blonde Jokes