Blonde Jokes - Page 35

Two blondes are sitting on a bench at the park.
One says to the other,"Hey, which is farther, California or the moon?"
The other blonde says,"Well, duh!
Can you see California?"

33 0

Blonde Jokes

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

33 0

Blonde Jokes

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.
The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked inquisitively: "How do you give shoulders?"

33 0

Blonde Jokes

A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.
Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?
The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'

33 0

American Football Jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes Blonde Jokes Soccer Jokes

A blonde's car breaks down. A cop pulls up and inquires about the group of nакеd men standing next to her car.
The blonde says, "They're my emergency flashers."

33 0

Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes

Q: What did the bartender say when a priest, a Boy Scout, and a blonde walked in?
A: "Is this a joke?"

33 0

Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Priest Jokes

Q: Why do blondes like hearing blonde jokes?
A: It makes them feel popular.

33 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Got Milk?
A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan without a tan line, so he went up on his roof and stripped. He fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn everywhere, even on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date.
The blonde comes over, and they make dinner. They're watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. He excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."

33 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!

33 0

Men vs Women Jokes Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Dog jokes

How do you stop a blonde tank?
Shoot the people pushing it!

33 0

Men vs Women Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Military Jokes Blonde Jokes

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady, limping slightly, and with a cane, slowly walks up to the moving walls, and presses a button. The walls opened, and the lady walks between them, into a small room. The walls closed.The boy and his father watched as small circles of lights with numbers above the wall light up. They continued to watch the circles light up, in reverse direction now. The walls opened up again, and a beautiful young blonde stepped out...The father said to his son,
"GO GET YOUR MOTHER!!!"

33 0

Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Fat Jokes

A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells off the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself.
After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter.
"I'm here for the paint job," she said.
"Alright," said the man.
"Here is the paint and your brush.
I want you to paint my porch behind the house."
The blonde immediately went to work painting.
Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coat.
After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay.
She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a Porsche out back.
It's a new BMW.

33 0

Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes BMW jokes

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.

33 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A. Grade 4.

33 0

School Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sреrм count.

33 0

Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde was driving down the road and she looks up and she sees a tree so she swerves to the left.
The tree is still nfront of her so she swerves to the right, this time her car rolls into the ditch.
When the Police Officer came to the scene of the accident the blonde told the Police Officer about the tree that was in front of her. The officer kindly explained that the tree was the green air freshener hanging off her rear view mirror.

33 0

Blonde Jokes

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are sitting in the waiting area of their obgyn. The three ladies start to chat it up and whether they will have a boy or a girl... The brunette:
"I know I'm having a boy because I was on top!"
The two others smile and... The redhead says:
"I know I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom!" The brunette slightly giggles for a moment and suddenly she and the redhead look at the blonde and ask... "Why are you crying?"
"I think I'm going to have a puppy!"

33 0

Blonde Jokes

What did the blonde do when he heard that 90% of accidents occur within five miles of home? He moved ten miles away.

33 0

Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What does a blonde do when she wakes up? Go home!

33 0

Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.
The livestock dealer said,
"Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking he met a blonde young lady with rather large beautiful вrеаsтs. She told him she was lost, and asked,
"Can you tell me how to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said,
"Well, as a matter of fact, I'm going to visit my brother at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We'll save half the time to get there".
The fair young lady said,
"How do I know that when we get in to the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull down my skirt and ravish me?"
The farmer said,
"I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, 2 chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The young lady said,
"Easy silly! Set the goose down, put the bucket over the goose, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the friggen chickens!"

33 0

Blonde Jokes