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Blonde Jokes

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Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.
They went back and forth until they stopped for lunch. At the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?"
The guy leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."
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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
A German woman is walking down the street.
Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, ''Nein! Nein!'' so two guys walk away.
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Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: Why are so many blondes rushing out to get вrеаsт implants?
A: They don't want to pay the flat tax.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
A: She was trying to make up her mind.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her вrеаsтs.
A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?"
"Shower caps?" she replied. "These are воовy condoms!"
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stand there and think for a while.
Finally one gets am idea to try to open the car with a hanger. So the first blonde starts fiddling with the lock with the hanger. The other blonde looks up at the sky and suddenly becomes very worried.
"HURRY, HURRY," she urges. "IT'S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!"
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Blonde Jokes
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.
“Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods…
“I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
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Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
A: She wanted to gain weight!
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Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their вrеаsт size?
A: Silicone сhiрs.
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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Beauty Jokes Stupid Jokes
Me: If a blonde girl and brunette girl jumped off a cliff at the same time, who would hit the ground first?
Friend: I don't know, who?
Me: The brunnete, the blonde had to ask for directions.
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Блондинка и брюнетка ще скачат от Айфеловата кула. Blonde & Brunette on a Cliff A blonde and a brunette fell off a building, which hit the ground first? The brunette, the blonde had to ask for directions A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off. They all jump at the same time. Which one landed last? The blonde because she asked for directions. Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first? Boy2: The blonde? Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how. Vom Hochhaus fallen Ερώτηση: Εάν μια μελαχρινή και μια ξανθιά πέσουν από ένα κτήριο ποια θα φτάσει πρώτη κάτω? Απάντηση: Η μελαχρινή – η ξανθιά θα σταματήσει στο δρόμο για οδηγίες Una bionda e una bruna si buttano dal 25° piano di un palazzo. Quale delle due arrivera’ per prima al suolo? La bruna! Perche’ la bionda si perde per strada! - Perche’ la bionda ha smesso di prendere la pillola ? Perche’ continuava a cadere di fuori. - Perche’ alla bionda faceva male l’ombelico? Perche’ anche il suo ragazzo era biondo. - Se una bionda... P: Uma loira e uma morena tentam suicídio, se jogando de cima de um prédio de 20 andares... Quem cai primeiro no chão? R: A morena. Por que a loira parou para pedir informação! Jeśli blondynka i brunetka wypadną razem z okna wieżowca, która szybciej spadnie? - Brunetka. Blondynka parę razy zatrzyma się by spytać o drogę... Om en blondin och en brunett hoppade samtidigt från en skyskrapa, vem skulle träffa marken först? Brunetten, blondinen måste stanna och fråga efter vägen Een domblondje en een negertje springen van een gebouw. Wie is het eerst beneden ? Het negertje want het domblondje vroeg onderweg de weg. En blondine og en brunette springer samtidig ud fra et højhus. Hvem rammer først jorden? - Brunetten. Blondinen bliver nød til at spørge om vej! Det var en blondine og en brunette som falt ned fra en skyskraper, hvem traff bakken først? Svar: Brunetten, fordi blondinen måtte stoppe fire ganger og spørre etter vegen En brunette og en blondine hopper ut fra et fly. Hvem lander først, og hvorfor? Svar: Brunetta lander først, fordi blondina stopper 5 ganger for å spørre om veien. Blondi ja terroristi hyppäsivät yhtä aikaa katolta. Kumpi osui ensimmäisenä maahan? Terroristi, sillä blondi eksyi matkalla. Brunette ja blondi hyppäsivät tornista alas. Kumpi oli ensin alhaalla? – Brunette, koska blondin täytyi pysähtyä kysymään tietä. Blondi ja brunetti hyppäsivät katolta. Kumpi osui ensimmäisenä maahan? - Brunetti, sillä blondin piti matkalla pysähtyä kysymään tietä Blondi ja kukkaruukku putoavat kerrostalon katolta. Kumpi on maassa ensin? - Kukkaruukku. Blondi pysähtyy kysymään tietä. O blonda si o bruneta cad de pe Intercontinental. Care ajunge prima jos? Raspuns:bruneta,blonda s-a oprit sa intrebe care-i drumul. O blonda si o bruneta sunt aruncate din avion. Cine ajunge prima jos?Bruneta, pentru ca blonda se intoarce sa intrebe Cum ajunge jos. Blondýna a bruneta skočí z mrakodrapu. Obě zároveň a bez padáku. Kdo dopadne dřív? Bruneta, protože blondýna se ještě musí ptát na cestu!
Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Friendship Jokes
Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist.
Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home.
The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself."
The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror.
The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."
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Блондинка и полицай A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license. The dr Blondine und Polizist Eine Blondine wird von einem Polizisten aufgehalten. Der Polizist bittet sie um ihren Führerschein. Blondine: "Was ist das?" Polizist: "Na Sie wissen schon, das wo ihr Bild drauf ist". Die Blondine sucht in ihrer Tasche und findet einen kleinen Spiegel. Sie nimmt ihn heraus und schaut hinein.... Eine Blondine wird von einem Verkehrspolizisten angehalten. "Wachtmeister Einstein, den Führerschein bitte!" "Hab ich nich, was is'n das?" "Das ist so ein kleines Teil zum Aufklappen mit einem Bild... Une blonde se fait contrôler par une policière blonde, qui lui demande son permis. Elle fouille dans son sac à main mais ne trouve pas : - C'est quoi déjà un permis ? - C'est quelque chose de rectangulaire avec votre photo. Puis la blonde tombe sur son miroir de poche, se voyant dedans et lui... Une policière blonde arrête une fille blonde au volant de son véhicule. - Permis de conduire ? - Ça ressemble à quoi un permis de conduire ? - Ben... C'est une petite carte rectangulaire avec ta... Una poliziotta ad una ragazza: - "Non hai visto che era rosso il semaforo? dammi la tua carta d'identità" - "Come è fatta???" - "È rettangolare e sopra c'è la tua foto" La ragazza prende lo... Uma loira estava dirigindo seu carro na estrada quando uma policial também loira pede para ela encostar o carro. Ela encosta, desce e a policial ordena: — Por favor, sua carteira de habilitação. A loira abre a bolsa e começa a procurar, revira a bolsa e não acha... quando pergunta para a... En blond kvinna kommer farande som ett skott i sin nya fina sportbil och blir stoppad av en kvinnlig polis som också råkar vara blond. – Kan jag få se körkortet? säger den kvinnliga polisen.... Een blondje met een sportwagen wordt tot stilstand gebracht door de politie wegens te snel rijden. De politieagent van dienst is een vrouw en ook blond! De politieagente vraagt aan het snelle... Blondinen kjørte for fort og ble stoppet av politiet. Det viste seg at det var ei blond politidame som stoppet henne. - Du kjørte for fort, vis meg førerkortet ditt sa den blonde politidamen. -... Poliisi pysäytti blondin ja kysyi häneltä ajokorttia. Blondi ei tiennyt mikä sellainen on ja poliisi kuvaili, että se on sellainen suorakulmio, jossa on teidän kuva. Blondi kaivoi laukkuansa ja... A rendőr megállítja a szőke nőt: - Jogosítványt, forgalmit, személyit kérek! - Mi az a személyi? - kérdezi a szőke nő. - Az egy olyan kis tárgy, hogyha kinyitja, akkor ott látja benne a saját... Brauc pa ceļu blondīne. Te viņu aptur ceļu policists. - Jūsu tiesības, lūdzu! - Ko? - Tiesības, lūdzu. - Kas tās tādas? - Tā ir tāda mantiņa ar jūsu fotogrāfiju. - Ā, skaidrs... (Blondīne rokas...
Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes
Q: Why are two blonde girls fighting on a motorcycle?
A: They are fighting because they both want to sit next to the window.
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Blonde Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? 
A: She liked kids...
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Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Veterinarian Jokes
How do you electrocute a blonde?
Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
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Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes
How do you get a blonde off of her knees?
Cum.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
There was a blonde, bernett and a red-head on a broken ship. it takes two miles to get to shore, so the bernett swims 1 mile and drowns the red-head swam 1 mile and got eaten by a shark then the blonde swam 1 mile got tired and swam back
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
The blonde complained to her friend, "I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his!"
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q. How do you teach a blonde math?
A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
A blonde goes to a football game. The quarterback starts running with the ball and she chases him yelling "I want my quarter back!"
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
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