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Blonde Jokes

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Why does it take longer to make a blonde snowman?
Because you have to hollow out the head first.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: What's a blonde's definition of socialism?
A: Partying!
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Three blondes die and go to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question, and if you get it right, I will let you into Heaven."
He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "That's the time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."
St. Peter says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"
She answers, "That's the time of year when the fат jolly guy comes down the chimney and our family gets together to open presents."
St. Peter asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?"
She says, "That's when Сhrisт died and they put him in a tomb behind a rock."
"That's right!" exclaims St. Peter.
"Then, once a year," continues the third blonde, "we roll the stone away and he comes out, and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter."
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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Fat Jokes Easter Jokes
There was a blonde at a stoplight and it said “walk.
” She started walking and, when she was in the middle of the street, the sign turned to “don't walk.” So she stopped.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde have square воовs?
A: She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Boob Jokes
One day a blonde finds out from her friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her. So one day she goes out to the mall and buys a gun. After that she goes to her boyfriend's house. She busts down the door and points the gun at her head.
"What are you doing?'' says her boyfriend.
"Shut up! You're next!"
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Cheating Jokes
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to кill herself?
She jumped out a basement window!
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Two cowboys lean against the rail at their favorite bar and rate women as they go by.
A beautiful brunette passes. The first cowboy says, "I'll give her a 3." The other cowboy nods.
Next, a hot redhead walks by. The second cowboy looks her up and down and says to the first cowboy, "Well, I think that one must be a 4." The first cowboy nods.
Finally, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde approaches. The cowboys straighten up and tip their hats back a little for a better look. The first cowboy smiles real wide and says, "Dамn! That one has GOT to be a 6." The second cowboy nods.
Overhearing this, the woman turns around sharply and looks the first cowboy in the eye, "I'll have you know, I've been rated far higher than that by far better men than YOU."
And the second cowboy says, "But, ma'am, you don't understand - we use a different kind a rating system. We use the equestrian method."
Taken aback, she asks, "What the hеll is the equestrian method?"
The first cowboy smiles and says slowly, "Well ma'am, that's how many Clydesdales it would take to pull you off my face."
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blue Collar Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Q: Why doesn't a blonde talk during sеx?
A: Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.
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Защо блондинката не говори по време на секс? Въпрос : Γιατί οι ξανθιές δεν μιλάνε όταν κάνουν έρωτα; Γιατί η μαμά τους τους είπε να μη μιλάνε με γεμάτο το στόμα. Varför pratar blondiner aldrig när de har sex? - För att deras föräldrar har sagt till dem att inte prata med främlingar. Savez-vous pourquoi la blonde ne parle pas, quand vous lui faites l'amour ? - Car sa Maman lui a dit de ne parler aux étrangers ! Warum reden Blondinen nicht beim Sex? Ihre Mütter haben ihnen verboten, mit fremden Männern zu sprechen! "Varför pratar aldrig blondiner när dom har sex?" "Deras mamma har sagt att de inte ska prata med främlingar!" Varför säger inte blondinen något medan hon har sex? Hennes mamma sa åt henne att inte prata med främlingar Hennes mamma sa åt henne att inte prata med munnen full Vet du varför blondiner är så tysta när dem har sex? Deras mamma har lärt dom att man pratar inte med främlingar... Hvorfor prater ikke blondiner når de har sex? - De har lært av moren at de ikke skal prate til fremmede.. Miksei blondi ei puhu rakastellessaan? Äiti on kieltänyt puhumasta vieraiden kanssa Hvorfor er blondiner så stille, når de går i seng? - Fordi de har lært, at de ikke må snakke med fremmede mænd! Miksi blondi ei puhu, kun hän harrastaa seksiä? - Koska häntä on kielletty puhumasta vieraille. Por que las rubias no hablan mientras hacen el amor ? Porque sus madres les dijeron que no hablasen con desconocidos. Hvorfor er blondiner så stille når de dyrker sex? - De snakker ikke til fremmede Quando a loira tem 2 neurônios? Quando está grávida. Qual a primeira coisa que uma loira faz quando acorda? Se veste e vai para casa. Qual a loira mais inteligente da história do cinema? LASSIE.... Q: De ce nu vorbeste o blonda cand face dragoste ? A: Mama sa i-a spus sa nu intre in vorba cu straini. Dlaczego blondynki nic nie mówią podczas stosunku? - Bo mamy im mówiły, aby nie rozmawiać z nieznajomymi... - Bo mamy zawsze im mówiły, że nie należy mówić z pełnymi ustami... Warum reden Blondinen beim Sex nicht? Weil Mama gesagt hat sie sollen nicht mit fremden Männern sprechen! Was sagt eine Blondine beim Sex? Gar nichts, weil ihre Mutter ihr verboten hat mit Fremden zu reden!!!!!!
Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes
A blonde calls a pharmacy to ask if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby.
The clerk explains that many mothers figure out an infant's weight by weighing themselves while holding the baby on an adult scale and then subtracting their own weight. "Oh, that won't work," replies the blonde. "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt."
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Kids Jokes Blonde Jokes
She is so blonde, she thinks a thesaurus is a dinosaur.
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Insult Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: She didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
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Полунощ е. Медицинската сестра буди някакъв болен пациент. - Vakna! Skriker Olle. - Öhh? Stönar pappan. - Du har glömt att ta dina sömntabletter! - Тате - вика Иванчо - събуди се. - А какво има? - стене сънено баща му. - Забрави да си вземеш хапчетата за сън! Warum gehen Blondinen immer auf Zehenspitzen an Medizinschränken vorbei? - Sie wollen die Schlaftabletten nicht aufwecken. Vakna pappa, du måste ta dina sömntabletter! Una viejita le dice a su viejito: ¡Mijito despierte! Ummm, no, dice el viejito. ¡Salomón despierte!, grita la viejita. Ummmmn, no, dice el viejito. ¡Que despierte, que despierte, Salomón! ¡No! ¿Qué... Lilla Marie får i uppdrag att påminna pappa om att ta sin medicin för natten: - Vakna pappa, du har glömt att ta dina sömntabletter! Despierte, es hora de tomar su somnífero. Vet du hva det verste med å ligge på sykehus er? Svar: Å bli vekket for å ta sovepiller - Du må våkne, Olav, du har glemt å ta sovepillen. Pappa Stefan ligger och sover i sängen då lilla Anna hoppar upp i sängen och ropar: – Pappa Pappa, vakna, du glömde ta sömnpillerna!! – Hvorfor vekker du meg? – Fordi du glemte å ta sovepillen din. O portuga foi trabalhar de mordomo. Alguns dias depois, chegou pro patrão: — Patrão! Patrão! Acorde depressa! — Que foi? - perguntou ele, meio tonto com o sono ainda. — Acorde, patrão! Tá na hora... O Manuel vai trabalhar de mordomo: — Acorda patrão! Acorda! — O que foi ? — Está na hora do senhore tomar o remédio para dormire... Hvorfor blev manden vækket af blondinen? Hun ville fortælle han havde glemt at tage sin sovepille „Prosím tě, Jarouši, vstávej!” budí rozrušeně manželka manžela uprostřed noci. „Co se děje?” Jarouš rozespale. „Ale, co by? Zapomněl sis vzít prášky na spaní.” El padre de Pepito estaba durmiendo y le tocaba tomar su pastilla para dormir y Pepito llega desesperado a su casa y le dice: ¡ Papá despierta que tienes que tomar tu pastilla para dormir! Seselė žadina pacientą, kuris tuo metu miega: - Paciente, kelkitės! Pacientas jos mieguistu balsu klausia: - Ko jums reikia? Seselė kuo ramiausiai atsako: - Aš jums atnešiau migdomųjų... Eine Krankenschwester rüttelt an einem Patienten, als der behandelnde Arzt vorbeikommt. Entsetzt fragt der Arzt: "Was machen Sie denn da?" Da antwortet die Schwester: "Ich versuche ihn zu wecken.... - Herää, sanoi Lelle - unilääkkeen aika. Har du hørt om kona som vekket mannen midt på natten? Han hadde glemt å ta sovemedisinen sin... Rikard kom in till sin pappa och sa: - Pappa, pappa, vakna... Pappan vaknade och sa: - Öh,vad är det? - Du glömde ta dina sömntabletter... Hur vet man att det är en norsk sjuksköterska? Vet inte? Dom väcker patienterna för att ge dom sömntabletter. W środku nocy pielęgniarka w szpitalu budzi pacjenta. - Co się stało? - pyta zaspany chory. - Zapomniał pan wziąć tabletki na sen. Esta un emfermo dormido y entra la emfermera y lo sacude queriendolo despertar ya despierto el emfermo preguntando ¿que pasa? la emfermera responde esque olvide darle sus pastillas para dormir Ateina sesele pas mieganti ligoni ir sako: - Ligoni laikas keltis,migdomuju atnesiau. Die Krankenschwester versucht, einen Patienten aufzuwecken. Fragt der Pfleger: "Was machen Sie denn da?" Die Schwester: "Ich muß ihn unbedingt wach kriegen, er hat vergessen seine Schlaftabletten...
Insult Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: How do you recognize a blonde's tricycle?
A: It's the one with the kickstand.
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Insult Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.
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Insult Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Blonde Jokes
Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields.
One blonde riding shotgun says,
"Look over there!"
They see another blonde in scuba gear who is acting like she's swimming through the wheat. The blonde driving says,
"It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name. "
The other blonde says,
"Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."
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Insult Jokes Blonde Jokes
Q: A smart blonde, a sтuрid blonde and Santa Claus play poker. Who wins?
A: The sтuрid blonde - the other two don't exist.
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Έξυπνη ξανθιά Τι κοινό έχει... Είναι μια ξανθιά, μια έξυπνη ξανθιά και ο άγιος Βασίλης πάνω σε έναν ουρανοξύστη ποιος θα σκάσει πρώτος κάτω αν πέσουν? Η ξανθιά. για τι η έξυπνη ξανθιά και ο άγιος Βασίλης είναι μυθικά πρόσωπα. En smart blondine, en smart svenske, en dum nordmann, supermann og julenissen står på fortauet, så dukker det plutselig opp en presang! Hvem tar den? Svar: – Supermann. Julenissen gir gaver og de... Em um filme, um saci-pererê, um Papai Noel, um coelinho da Páscoa, uma loira burra e uma loira inteligente estão andando na rua e os cinco encontram uma nota de 100 reais no chão. Quem você acha... Intr-un lift stau o blonda desteapta, una proasta Si Mos Craciun. Jos e un portofel doldora cu bani. Lumina Se stinge, iar in cateva secunde se aprinde din nou, dar Portofelul nu mai e. Cine a luat... Είναι μια έξυπνη ξανθιά, μια χαζή ξανθιά και ο Αγιος Βασίλης και κάνουν αγώνα δρόμου. Ποιος θα τερματίσει πιο γρήγορα; Κανενασ Η έξυπνη ξανθιά δεν υπάρχει, ο Αγιος Βασίλης είναι ανύπαρκτο πρόσωπο... Είναι πάνω σε μια στέγη, ο Αγιος Βασίλης, μια έξυπνη ξανθιά και μια χαζή ξανθιά. Ποιος θα πέσει πρώτος; Η χαζή ξανθιά, γιατί τα άλλα δύο, είναι ανύπαρκτα πρόσωπα! Estavam andando em uma rua uma loira burra , uma loira inteligente,o Papai-Noel,e o Coelinho da Pascoa. Todos scharam uma nota de 100 raeis no chão. Quem pegou a nota no chão,a Loira burra, a LOira... Certo dia organizam uma corrida,em plena cidade do Rio de Janeiro. Nesta corrida participaram as seguintes pessoas: Papai Noel,Saci Pererê,uma loira inteligente e uma loira burra. Quem ganhou a... Estava passando na rua,papai noel,coelinho da páscoa,loira burra,loira inteligente,havia uma nota de cem na rua. Quem pegou a nota e por que a loira burra. Por que não existe papai noel,coelinho da... A loira burra, o Papai Noel, o Saci Pererê e a loira esperta viram uma nota de $100 em uma mesa na rua. Quem ficou com a nota? R:A loira burra. Porque Papai Noel, Saci Pererê, não existem, muito... - Cosa dice una bionda durante il suo primo parto ? Wow, siete sicuri che sia mio? - Cosa fanno dieci bionde in piedi, con l’orecchio dell’una appoggiato a quello della successiva? Una galleria del... De kerstman, sinterklaas, een slim blondje en een dom blondje lopen over straat. Opeens ligt er een muntje op straat wie raapt het op? Het dom blondje want de rest bestaat niet Een dom blondje, Sinterklaas, de Kerstman en het slimme blondje zaten op de bank naast elkaar in een bos. Opeens zien ze een briefje van 500 euro liggen. Wie raapt het op? Het domme blondje van al...
God Jokes Blonde Jokes
Artery:
Study of paintings Bacteria: Backdoor to cafeteria Barium: What to do when treatment fails Воwеl: Letter like A E I O or U Ceasarean Section: District in Rome Cat Scan: Searching for Kitty Cauterize: Made eye contact with her Coma: Punctuation Mark Congenital: Friendly D & C: Where Washington is Dilate: To live long Enema: Not a friend Fester: Quicker Genital: Non-Jewish Hang Nail: Coat Hook Impotent: Distinguished, well known Labor pain: Hurt at work Morbid: Higher offer Nitrate: Cheeper than day Node: Was aware of Outpatient: Person fainted Post op: Letter Carrier Recovery Room: Place to apholster Rестuм: Dang near Killed Him Rheumatic: Amorous Secretion: Hiding something Tablet: Small table Terminal Illness: Sick at Airport Tibia: Country in North Africa Tumor: More than One Urinе: Opposite of 'you're out' Varicose: Nearby Vein: Conceited
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Office and Work Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Africa Jokes Aviation Jokes
How many rednecks, does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to hold the bulb, and two to turn the ladder.
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Blue Collar Jokes Blonde Jokes Light bulb jokes
Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde sell her television?
A: To buy a VCR.
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Blonde Jokes
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