Coffee Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Boy: You remind me of my pinky toe
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cause I'll probably end up ваnging you on the coffee table

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Coffee Jokes

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fаrт followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, “Hon, you were right that I would fаrт my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in”.

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Animal Jokes Fart Jokes Coffee Jokes

Following the unloading of the cattle in stockyard, this cowboy headed to a restaurant for dinner. The only seat was next to a lady who looked wealthy and educated. He couldn’t help overhearing her order.
“I’ll have a вrеаsт of fowl, virgin fowl, make sure it’s a virgin, catch it yourself, garnish my plate with onions, a cup of coffee, not too hot, not too cold, and waiter, open the windows, I smell a horse, there must be a cowboy in here.”
Thoroughly рissеd off, the cowboy placed his order.
“I’ll have a duck, a fcuked duck, make sure it’s fcuked, fсuк it yourself, garnish my plate with horse sh1t, a cup of coffee, strong as mule рiss, вlоw the foam off with a fаrт, and waiter, kick down the wall, I smell a c*nt, there must be a whоrе in the house.”

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Cowboys and Indians Jokes Sarcasm Jokes Restaurant Jokes Superhero Jokes Coffee Jokes

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.

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Corny Jokes Coffee Jokes

When do ghosts drink coffee? In the moaning.

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Ghost jokes Coffee Jokes

Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the воов. “Ouch! That really hurt!” the first friend exclaims. To which the other replied, “I’m so sorry. I had the вrеаsт intentions.”
Having воовs is sort of like having two toddlers hanging out in your вrа.
They never stay put when they’re supposed to, are always getting attention (whether you want them to or not), and they’re happiest when they’re free to roam.

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Boob Jokes Coffee Jokes

I went to a cafe in Paris and was insulted by the barista.
It was a regular French roast.

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French jokes Coffee Jokes

What is Mami Tomoe's favorite beverage to drink? De-cappuccino.

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Anime jokes Coffee Jokes

"Barista: How do you take your coffee?
Me: Very, very seriously.

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Coffee Jokes

What’s the best Beatles song?
Latte Be!

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Coffee Jokes

Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Spouse #2: That’s not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.

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Coffee Jokes

What did the coffee lover name her son?
Joe, obviously.

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Coffee Jokes

What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.

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Coffee Jokes

How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.

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Coffee Jokes

How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his victims—all ground up.

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Coffee Jokes

How is divorce like espresso?
It’s expensive and bitter.

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Coffee Jokes

If the local coffee shop has awarded you “Employee of the Month” and you don’t even work there, you may be drinking too much coffee.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Coffee Jokes

What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!

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Coffee Jokes

What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee?
Mugging!

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Coffee Jokes

I drink so much coffee at work, I consider it part of my daily grind.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.

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Coffee Jokes