Dad Jokes - Page 3

Teacher: "Who can tell a story?"
Little Johnny: "Our maid's аss."
Teacher: "Why?"
Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her аss and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"

66 0

A man and wife were making love. When they saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away.
Mom said "You better fix this now."
The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he heard a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma.
The dad screamed "What the fuск."
The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."

65 1

Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

64 0

Dad Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

An old man lived alone in Tasmania.
He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Jase, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Jase,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year; I'm just getting to old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love Dad.
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES. Love Jase.
At 4A. M. the next morning, the Federal Police and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad.
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Jase.

63 0

Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Dad Jokes

Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sеx. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."

62 0

Dad Jokes Sports Jokes Sex Jokes Love Jokes

There was a father who called his 5 small children together.
As the sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle.
He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them.
He asked them "who is the most obedient?"
Five sets of eyes looked up at him.
Sensing that they didn’t understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?"
One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. "You win!" exclaimed the child.

62 0

Parent Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...
... For $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

61 0

Dad Jokes

On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing.
The ground was slippery.
So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's реnis.
His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"

59 0

Dad Jokes Jokes about Women Little Johnny Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What's he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Вееr and women!"

59 0

Kids Jokes Jokes about Women Little Johnny Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Police Officer Jokes Old People Jokes Dad Jokes Beer Jokes

Dad: What is the opposite of ladyfingers?
The family: No idea
Dad: Mentos

55 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Dad Jokes

Son: Dad, what does 'gаy' means?
Father: It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gаy?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.

49 0

Dirty jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Dad Jokes

My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"

49 0

Food Jokes Dad Jokes Communication Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

A man and his son went into a store.
The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad:
"Dad, I want this flag."
The man tells him:
"Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."

48 0

Kids Jokes Dad Jokes Stupid Jokes

Son: "Mom, I love you so much!"
Mother: "I don't have any money, try it with your dad."

47 0

Kids Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dad Jokes Love Jokes

“Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?”
“No son, have you seen my dad glasses?”
Removed the edit due to the negativity flooding my phone, you can find an explanation of it in my recents. Much love to the positivity tho .

47 0

Dad Jokes

Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of whiskey.
The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up & d*ed.
"All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?"
"Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms."

46 0

Drinking and Drunk Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
She whispers in his ear:
"That’s me before the surgery."

46 0

Dad Jokes Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Love Jokes

As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
Y'know, one would have been enough.

46 0

Birthday Jokes Dad Jokes

My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.

46 0

Dad Jokes

Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school.
Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."

45 0

Men jokes Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Dad Jokes