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Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

My neighbor always hide his women's asthma inhailer so she can scream at him:
"Give it to me!!!!! Give it to me!!!!" so the neighbours could think he is a stud. ;-)

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

I hate you, you hate me, Barney rареd you on T. V he turned off the lights and shut the door, what a hоrny dinosaur.

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Dirty jokes

You know what's great about being married? When dessert comes, you just shove it in your pie hole and you move on to the Promised Land. You just look at each other -- we're going to get fат and we're still going to have sеx.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Fat Jokes

Why do tampons have no friends?
Because they’re stuck up kunts.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his diск. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal!"

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes

There are three friends, Shut the hеll up, Your manners, and Bear Shiт. One day they're in the woods and bear shiт gets lost and your manners looks for him. Shut the hеll up goes to the police station "my friend is missing can you help me?" The officer says "what's your name?"
"Shut the hеll up"
"What?" Shut the hеll up"
"Say that again?" Shut the hеll up!"
"Son where's your manners?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you! He's out in the woods looking for bear shiт"

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Police Officer Jokes Friendship Jokes

I didn't like being single, man, because I didn't get laid that much, you know. I remember one time, I got this gal back to my place, and I was like, 'So you want to have some sеx?' She was like, 'Well, I don't normally do this but -- I'm going to pass.'

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Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes

Person: tell your mum to stop changing her lipstick my diск is starting to look like a rainbow
You: try washing it for once

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Dirty jokes

A king went for hunting.. spotted a bear. He aimed at the bear and shot at it but missed it. The bear notices that he missed comes close to him and said suск my соск as you missed me. King accepts his defeat and suскs the bear's соск. In kings second attempt he missed the bear.. He suскs bear's соск once again. Now the king was so рissеd off.. Trains himself to shoot accurately and hides to кill the bear this time. On his 3rd attempt he missed the bear again.
Now the bear comes near the king and said
Are you coming here to кill me or suск my соск!![

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Dirty jokes

I had gonorrhea in February -- I know, I was shocked as well. I didn't have any typical symptoms. The only symptom I had was a searing earache from my girlfriend screaming at me for giving her gonorrhea.

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Dirty jokes

Not saying shes a hое but shes probably had more nuts in her mouth than a squirrel preparing for winter

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Dirty jokes

Yo mama is so sтuрid that she went to see a doctor the other day because she found a сrаск in her аss.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

Two friend are having an argument:
Friend 1: I f*cking hate you dude
Friend 2: What I do so wrong?
Friend 1: You had sеx with my mom you Motherf*cker
Friend 2: Poor choice of words.......

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

Friend: it takes a minut to like someone, a day to have a crush, months to fall in love and a lifetime to forget. =D
Me: my mom one time forgot about me in the grocery store....

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

I've just seen on the news that a girl i used to date had been rареd, murdered and her body dumped in the nearby woods,
Horrified, i fell to my knees
"No, no its not right, no it can't be" i screamed at the TV with my hands on my head.
"It was after i murdered her i rареd her body in the woods!, .. After!"

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News and Politics Jokes Dirty jokes

*man gets abducted by aliens*
News reporter: whats these rumours about you getting abducted?
Abducted man: ABDUCTED? I GOT RАРЕD! now i dont mind rаре as long as im the мuтhеr f*cka doing the rарing! THEM E. T's WENT STRAIGHT FOR MY SНIТ-BOX!!!

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News and Politics Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Who does the cooking in a lеsвiаn relationship?
Neither of them. The both eat-out.

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Dirty jokes Relationship Jokes

( wendy and Burger king having sеx )
Burger king: you like that
Wendy: im loving it!
(burger king stops):wait what did you just say

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

What's the difference between a blond girl and a brick wall?
The brick wall only gets laid once

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Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes

Son: Dad, do you ever believe in true justice
Dad: It's a hard question but no, why?
Son: Good because I just rареd a girl

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes