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Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife.
"See if they fit."
"They don't."
"Now you see who will wear the pants in this house." She thought a little while, and took off her раnтiеs and asked him to try them on.
"I can't get into these."
"And you won't, either, with that attitude."

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

What do you call someone who sleeps with old people?
An OAP-daphile.

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Dirty jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, suск me off, and I will suск you, touch me right there, touch him to, it's not a black person, its a dirтy Jew.

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Dirty jokes

My genitalia fell off, can I borrow yours?

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Dirty jokes

A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo of your вrеаsтs and frame it ."
The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your реnis and enlarge it."

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Dirty jokes

What's long and hard and has "сuм" in it?
*Cu[сuм]ber (bet you thought of something else)

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Dirty jokes

Conner: hey Pimpdaddybear!
Pimp: yes?
*the man pulls down his pants* Conner: look at my sniреr!
Pimp: PFF thats a BB gun, mine is a 50-Cal

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.

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Dirty jokes

Me:Santa do you have 3 daughters?
Santa: Yes I do. Me:I guess there names are holly, jolly, frolly?
Santa: No there names are hо hо ho
Kickass if you get it

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Dirty jokes

Why is it ok for a smoker to take a 5 minute break at work to enjoy themselves but when I get caught in the toilets beating my meat I get fired?

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

There was two little boys playing down by the river. All of a sudden one boy ran up the river and peeked through the bushes. the other followed and peered with his friend. they were looking at a nакеd lady washing in the river. The boy that followed started running and his friend came after him and asked" where are you going?" the one boy that first ran said" my mom told me if i ever see a nакеd lady i will turn to stone. i felt something hard so i started running!"

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

A lady goes to the store and got shot three times. Nthe lady was still alive and she was going to have kids. When the kids were born ( 1 boy and 2 girls) one bullet was inside each kid. When the kids got older, the first girl says mom! The weirdest thing happened to me today! The mom say what? The girl says i pooped a bullet! Mom told her why. The second girl says mom guess what! The mom says you pooped a bullet. The girl says yes and mom told her why. The boy says mom guess what! Mom says you pooped a bullet. The boy says no i was playing with my diск and i shot the dog!!!!

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

The following conversation took place between a couple of eggs boiling in a pan.
Egg 1: I’ve got a huge сrаск!!
Egg 2: Stop teasing me, I’m not hard yet.

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Dirty jokes

I got a German роrnо movie the other day. It has subtitles, which is great 'cause, otherwise, I would have had no idea what was going on.

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Dirty jokes

A mother looked at her beautiful daughter and said,
"And to think I almost swallowed you".

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Dirty jokes

It's time for the employees of my local video store and the rest of the citizenry of the United States of America to recognize who I am -- I'm Jеrк-Happy Bob.

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Dirty jokes USA Jokes

The following conversation took place in a library.
Customer: Hi, I’m looking for the new book by Dr Schultz about small penises.
Librarian: Sorry, I don’t think it’s in yet.
Customer: Yes, that’s the one!!

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Dirty jokes

Went to the dentist today and he told me I had to stop touching myself. I said “What’s that got to do with my teeth?”. He said “Nothing but I just find it really distracting”.

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Dirty jokes

Life is like a реnis, hanging freely and relaxed. Its the women who make it hard

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Look, we can debate this all night.

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Dirty jokes