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Мръсни и неприлични вицове, 18+ Dirty jokes Fiese Witze Chistes verdes Пошлые анекдоты Blagues salaces Barzellette Sporche Ερωτικά ανέκδοτα Безобразни вицеви +18 Fıkralar Анекдоти для дорослих Piadas Sujas Dowcipy z wulgaryzmami Fräckisar & Snuskiga skämt Vuile moppen 18+ Frække Jokes Vitser for voksne Alaston vitsit Piszkos viccek Bancuri scârboase Hříšné vtipy Nešvankūs juokeliai Pikantie joki Prostakluci
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Dirty jokes

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Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
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Dirty jokes
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush.
Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit.
Friend: Ok I can see it...
Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there.
Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this.
Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you.
Friend: Oh-hо-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl.
Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirтy on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shiттing in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet.
Friend: I hate you...
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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes
What's a difference between a blond and a mosquito?
Once you smack a mosquito it stops sucking
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Каква е разликата между комара и блондинката? Цицање Плавуша и комарец Η Ξανθιά και το κουνούπι Quelle est la différence entre les moustiques et les femmes ?Les moustiques, quand ils sucent, ils avalent, eux. Connaissez-vous la différence entre un moustique et une blonde? Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einer Blondine und einem Blutegel? Wenn man dem Blutegel auf den Kopf haut, hört er auf zu saugen. Која е разликата помеѓу плавуша и комарец? Комарецот откако ке го удриш престанува да цица! Vous savez quelle est la différence entre une blonde et un moustique ? Et bien le moustique arrête de sucer quand on lui tape sur le front. Vad är det för skillnad på en mygga och en blondin? Blondinen får suga färdigt. Quel est la différence entre un moustique et une prostituée ? Quand tu tapes le moustique il arrête de te sucer Hvad er forskellen på en myg og en blondine? – Myggen stopper med at suge når man klapper den. Hvad er forskellen på en blondine og en myg? Hvad er forskellen på en blondine og en myg? - En myg holder selv op med suge, når den har fået nok! What’s the difference between a blonde and a masqueto? A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it Hvad er forskellen på en myg og en kvinde? Kvinden får lov til at sutte færdig, før hun får et klask i røven! Wat is het verschil tussen een dom blondje en een mug? Een mug houdt op met zuigen als je hem slaat en een dom blondje niet? Hva er forskjellen på ei blondine og en mygg? - Blondinen fortsetter å suge dersom du klapser til henne.. Mitä eroa on sääskellä ja blondilla? - Sääski lakkaa imemästä jos sitä lyö. - Vad är det för skillnad på en rysk ubåt och en blondin? - Väldigt få har varit inne i en rysk ubåt. - Vet du vad det är för skillnad mellan en mygga och en blondin ? - Man sl�r myggan innan den har sugit f�rdigt - Vad är det för skillnad på en kvinna och en mygga? - Myggan låter man inte suga klart. Kuo skiriasi blondinė nuo uodo? Tuo, kad uodui davus per galvą, jis nebečiulpia... Sapete quale è la differenza tra una zanzara e una donna? che la zanzara rompe solo d'estate la donna tutto l'anno.
Dirty jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: Why do dogs liск their ваlls?
A: Because they can.
Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches?
A: Same reason.
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Gross Jokes Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Dog jokes
Do you know what would be sick?
If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a воnеr.
Do you know what would be even worse?
If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes
A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vоdка on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish."
The Russian man says, "I would like to рiss vоdка."
When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses. She asks what they'll be drinking. He tells her he can рiss vоdка and demonstrates for her. It was the best vоdка they'd ever had.
The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass. She asks, "Why only one glass?"
"Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
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Gross Jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sеx?
A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Diск, let's go."
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Dirty jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
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Feminist Jokes Jokes about Women Sports Jokes Dirty jokes
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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Zwischen den Feiertagen Zwischen Weihnachten und Silvester Ham: Hej, jeg synes du har meget pæne ben, er det i orden jeg kalder dem jul og påske? Hende: Ja? Ham: Hva’ så med at invitere mig på ferie mellem højtiderne? If Thanksgiving is your left leg and Christmas is your right leg, can I visit between the holidays? Hey girl, if your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I cum between the holidays?
Christmas Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Halloween Jokes Flirt jokes
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
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Dirty jokes Prison Jokes
1st time having sеx. I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I've seen this on РоrnНuв, it's called Buffering.
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Баферинг С гаджето правихме сeкс вчера, когато изведнъж спрях по средата на всичко и застанах ужасно неподвижен. Lui e lei fanno l'amore. All'improvviso lui si ferma è rimane come congelato. Lei lo guarda stupefatta e chiede: - Ma sei normale, cosa stai facendo? - Cara, questo è il nuovissimo trend nei film porno su Internet – si chiama buffering. Ein junges Pärchen ist grade dabei sich hemmungslos zu lieben. Er besorgt es ihr grade so richtig, als er sich auf einmal ruckartig nicht mehr bewegt. Sie: "Was machst du da?!" Er: "Hab ich auf... Een echtpaar ligt in bed de liefde te bedrijven. Na een paar standjes begint de man schokkend te bewegen en houdt zich, tijdens de voorwaartse beweging, ineens helemaal stijf als een standbeeld....
Sex Jokes Dirty jokes
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common?
Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
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Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes
Yo mama is so dirтy when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
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Dirty jokes Yo Momma Jokes
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true.
"I want to рее whiskey," he says.
“But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want."
"No I want to рее whiskey."
The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true.
George goes home, calls his wife, Sue:
"Woman, get nuts and two glasses."
Curious she was, she brings them.
"What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks."
From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her.
And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey.
They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game.
The other night the same happen.
"Woman, bring two glasses and nuts."
So they spend their evenings.
One night, however, the scene changed.
"Woman, bring nuts and a cup."
"A, for one?"
"You will drink from the bottle today."
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Jokes about Women Money jokes Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vаginа.
So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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Dirty jokes Technology Jokes
Did you hear about the gаy guy that's on the patch?
He's down to four butts a day.
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Dirty jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes
"For love on the first sight, there's a tremendous medicine!"
"What medicine?"
"To get another look...!"
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Dirty jokes Love Jokes
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house.
When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him.
He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him.
When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys."
So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her вrеаsт. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys."
Then she took off everything and stood nакеd in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
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Dirty jokes Christmas Jokes
A lecturer who was drunк walked in a class.
Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate.
After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
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School Jokes Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Stupid Jokes
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