Fitness jokes

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„Ich bin so deprimiert, keine Frau mag sich mit mir verabreden“, sagte der 135 Kilogramm schwere Mann zu seinem Pfarrer. Дебел мъж искал да отслабне. Adam aşırı kiloluymuş. C'est l'histoire d'un gars qui a un gros cul et qui se décide à vouloir perdre du poids, il entre dans un salon de beauté et l'hôtesse d'accueil lui dit : There guy goes to a weight loss clinic and says he needs to lose 20 lbs. In der Zeitung liest der Mann von einem ganz besonderen Abnehmprogramm. Daraufhin ruft er bei der Firma an und bestellt deren 5-Tage / 5-kg-Abhnehmpaket. Am nächsten Tag klingelt es an seiner Tür... Det var manden der gerne ville tabe sig, så han gik til en slankeklinik. Der fik han at vide, at der var 3 måder, hvorpå han kunne tabe sig. En hvor han ville tabe sig 10 kg og som kostede 1.000... Ein übergewichtiger Mann liest in einer Zeitunganzeige: "Verlieren Sie 2, 4 oder 8 KG in nur 5 Tagen." Der Mann ruft gleich an und nach einem kurzen Gespräch bestellt er die 2 KG-Variante. Am... Un industriel, qui veut maigrir, s’est rendu dans un établissement spécialisé ou on lui propose deux cures: l’une à 3 000 Euros et l’autre beaucoup plus efficace, à 7 500 Euros. – Je vais prendre... Ein stark übergewichtiger Mann möchte abnehmen. Immer wieder hat er ausreden, aber eines Tages hört er von einem Trainingsprogramm im örtlichen Bordell. "Wie funktioniert das denn hier?" Sagt die...
This guy named "John" asked advice how to lose extra LBS gained during vacation and was told about some new fitness center.
So John went to check it out.
Walked in, put $10 on the counter and said: "I'd like to lose 10 LBS please?!"
The receptionist smiled and pointed to a pink door.
John walked slowly into the room and saw only a massage table, a gorgeous sсаnтily dressed woman on the other side. She said in a sеxy voice "If you catch me, you fuск me! " John ran around n round, caught her and...
A few days later John returned. He put $20 on the counter and said "I'd like to lose 20 LBS. The smiling receptionist and pointed to a red door. John strutting to the door, and entered where he beheld 2 beautifully attired very hot n sеxy women kissing and caressing each other, then they stood up, gazed at John, who was already moving toward them. And they purred "you catch us, you fuск us!"
Already in motion, John ran round n round caught one, then caught the other...
The following week John went back again.
He smiled while searching for the door he knew was waiting for him, and slapped $50 on the counter saying excitedly "50 LBS for 50 bucks."
The receptionist pointed to a black door.
John strode over with quick steps, opened the door and immediately heard a deep voice belonging to the biggest blackest buck nакеd she-male say excitedly
"I catch you I fuск you!"
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Генко към фитнес инструктора: Във Фитнеса Момче отива във фитнес залата и пита фитнес инструктура: Теретана El anciano que va al gimnasio An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady. He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby. Komt een man bij de fitness. Deze vraagt aan de instructeur met welk apparaat hij de meeste indruk kan maken bij de dames. De instructeur zegt als je naar buiten gaat dan vindt je om de hoek een... Egy pasi a konditerembe odamegy az edzőhöz. - Melyik gépet kell használnom, hogy felszedjem azt a szőke csajt? - A bankautomatát a bejáratnál! Egy dagadt pasi az edzőteremben meglát egy fiatal, jó alakú nőt. Megkérdi az edzőtől: - Uram, melyik gépet kellene használnom, hogy az ilyen csajok felfigyeljenek rám? Mire az edző: - Próbálja ki...
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A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.
After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, “Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish.
But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be suскеd into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!”
The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, “I think I’m the most beautiful of us three” and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.
The redhead stepped up and said “I think I’m the most talented of us three” and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands.
Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, “I think…” and was promptly suскеd into the mirror.
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