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Fitness jokes

Newest jokes in this category
If a beautiful woman goes for a walk daily, she can improve the health of ten other men.
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Fitness jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes
How many bodybuilders does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Four. One bodybuilder to sсrеw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, “Really, dude, you look huge !”
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Fitness jokes
Some folks exercise their right to vote.
I vote my right to not exercise.
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Fitness jokes
I remember last summer at the beach. All the humiliation of being a 97 pound weakling. The big guys kicking sand in my face, My girlfriend dissing me to take off with some bronzed, muscular jоск.
So I moved to Alaska. Now I’m a Husky fcuker
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Fitness jokes
I always shout “PIZZA’S HERE” so the delivery guy doesn’t think I’m eating those two pizzas by myself.
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Fitness jokes
My wife came home from the gym today and said, “I think I’ve done something to my knee, it’s killing me.”
I said, “Go and get a hot bath.”
“What, to ease the pain?” She replied.
“No.” I said, “Because you fuскing stink.”
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Fitness jokes
30 things only us men do:
1. Look in the tissue after blowing our nose.
2. Touch hot things, Just to see how hot it is.
3. Set off early, And arrive late.
4. Order food, And still keep looking at the menu.
5. Fаrт and be proud.
6. Put a sickipedia joke as our facebook status.
7. Beep at girls.
8. Dance to the toilet when out clubbing.
9. Call everyone mate.
10. Dance back from the toilet.
11. Put mobile phone in our front right pocket.
12. Check our phone for no reason.
13. Have a jar for loose change.
14. Hit snooze at least 3 times.
15. Moan about the weather, when inside.
16. Stub our toe, Then blame the thing we stubbed it on.
17. Say ‘I love you too’ Quietly.
18. Sit with our hands down our trousers, and fiddle.
19. Wear a t-shirt in winter, because we’ve been to the gym.
20. Call every woman darling.
21. Check our phone, Again.
22. Рiss in the shower.
23. Fаrт in the bath.
24. Lie about our dreams.
25. Give our car a name.
26. Laugh at the disabled.
27. Маsтurвате, Apparently
28. Lose the house keys, at home.
29. Save a girls number, With a blokes name.
30. Look in the mirror, and tense our arms
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Jokes about Women Food Jokes Men jokes Facebook Jokes Sexist Jokes Masturbation jokes Fitness jokes
Modern philosophy:
If I went to the gym but then didn’t write a Facebook status about it, did it ever really happen?
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Facebook Jokes Philosophy Jokes Fitness jokes
Teacher: what’s your favorite animal
Me: Desert Eagle
Teacher:why?
Me:cause it fits in my backpack
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Fitness jokes School Jokes
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, “hey what’s that?” Lil Timmy looks down and says, “oh that, that’s only my little red race car.” They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, “hey what’s that?” Lil Susie looks down and says, “oh that, that’s only my little red race car garage.” They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, “hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage.”
The parents downstairs then hear a вlооdy scream. They rush upstairs and then say, “what’s wrong?” Lil Susie says, “well Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn’t fit so we cut them off.”
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Fitness jokes
I was making vegetable soup yesterday but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit
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Fitness jokes
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn’t fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn’t find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.
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Fitness jokes
Can’t believe how sexist my local gym is. They cancelled my membership because they said apparently “men aren’t allowed in the female shower rooms”.
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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Fitness jokes
My wife just said to me “The only reason you’ve started to go the gym is so you can find yourself a nice young girl.”
I said “I’ve found one, the only reason I’m going the gym is so I can catch her.”
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Criminal Jokes Fitness jokes
People who think they can run away from their problems have obviously never farted on a treadmill.
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Fitness jokes
Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.
Ab originals.
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Fitness jokes
My local gym make it extremely difficult for newcomers to join.
They’re on the 27th floor with no lift.
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Fitness jokes
I don’t understand why gyms have mirrors. I know what I look like. That’s why I’m here.
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Fitness jokes
For all you dieters: I have a new favourite vegetable.
Carrot Cake.
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Fitness jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes
I’ve accepted the fact that being cremated is my last hope for a smoking, hot body.
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Fitness jokes
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