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Fitness jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I was told that exercise helps with your decision making.
It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.

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Fitness jokes

If a beautiful woman goes for a walk daily, she can improve the health of ten other men.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Fitness jokes

How many bodybuilders does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Four. One bodybuilder to sсrеw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, “Really, dude, you look huge !”

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Fitness jokes

Some folks exercise their right to vote.
I vote my right to not exercise.

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Fitness jokes

I remember last summer at the beach. All the humiliation of being a 97 pound weakling. The big guys kicking sand in my face, My girlfriend dissing me to take off with some bronzed, muscular jоск.
So I moved to Alaska. Now I’m a Husky fcuker

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Fitness jokes

I always shout “PIZZA’S HERE” so the delivery guy doesn’t think I’m eating those two pizzas by myself.

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Fitness jokes

My wife came home from the gym today and said, “I think I’ve done something to my knee, it’s killing me.”
I said, “Go and get a hot bath.”
“What, to ease the pain?” She replied.
“No.” I said, “Because you fuскing stink.”

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Fitness jokes

Can’t believe how sexist my local gym is. They cancelled my membership because they said apparently “men aren’t allowed in the female shower rooms”.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Fitness jokes

My wife just said to me “The only reason you’ve started to go the gym is so you can find yourself a nice young girl.”
I said “I’ve found one, the only reason I’m going the gym is so I can catch her.”

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Fitness jokes Criminal Jokes

People who think they can run away from their problems have obviously never farted on a treadmill.

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Fitness jokes

Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.
Ab originals.

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Fitness jokes

My local gym make it extremely difficult for newcomers to join.
They’re on the 27th floor with no lift.

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Fitness jokes

I don’t understand why gyms have mirrors. I know what I look like. That’s why I’m here.

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Fitness jokes

For all you dieters: I have a new favourite vegetable.
Carrot Cake.

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Fitness jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

I’ve accepted the fact that being cremated is my last hope for a smoking, hot body.

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Fitness jokes

Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I’m 82

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Fitness jokes

When you stop and think about them, treadmills are fuскing dangerous.

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Fitness jokes

What do you call Adolf Нiтlеr's personal gym?
The liftwaffe.

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Fitness jokes Hitler Jokes

If the shoe fits perfectly why did it fall off

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Fitness jokes

Knock knock
Who’s there
Insomnia
You’ll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that… Well now I can 't cry myself to sleep anymore…

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Fitness jokes