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Good jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

Why did the donut visit the dentist?
To get a new filling.

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Good jokes Dentist Jokes

What do you call a nut that sneezes?
A cashew.

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Good jokes

A very panicky Emma bursts into her brother’s bedroom and shakes him awake, “Jeremy, come quick, there’s a mouse squeaking under my bed!!!!”
Jeremy yawns, “and what the heck should I do? Oil it?!”

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Good jokes

Why did the bee marry?
He’s finally found his honey.

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Good jokes

“Name me five different animals, Johnny.”
“The dog, the dog’s brother, the dog’s sister, the dog’s cousin and the dog’s aunt.”

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Little Johnny Jokes Good jokes

It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire. They’ve been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the аssаulт only worsens when the darkness sets in.
Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny swears: “These dаrn mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them to find us!“

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Little Johnny Jokes Good jokes

What is black – white – black – white – black – white?
A реnguin rolling down a mountain!

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Good jokes

Daddy, why is the sky so high?
So the birds wouldn’t hit their heads all the time, darling.

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Good jokes

Why do dolphins swim in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.

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Good jokes

A woman goes to the doctor and says, “Could you please prescribe me something against my headaches?”
“OK,” says the doctor, “take this and come back in two weeks.”
After two weeks, the lady is back and complains, “I’m sorry doctor. I’ve been using this for the past two weeks, I followed the instructions on the package – but nothing happened.”
The doctor is concerned, “That’s unusual Mrs Grimky, what were the instructions exactly?”
“Well, keep the lid tightly sсrеwеd on at all times.”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Good jokes

Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?
Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.
Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
Man: No, I’m a barber.

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Good jokes Hairdresser Jokes

2 robbers break into Ikea at night. Once they’re back again in the car, they compare their loot:
What’ve you got?
Candles, some napkins and this little pencil.
Darn it, me too.

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Good jokes

Patient:
“So, doc, what’s my diagnosis?”
Doctor:
“Hmm… I don’t know how to say this…”
Patient:
“Just say it…”
Doctor:
“OK what’s your star sign?”
Patient:
“Come on! How can that be relevant?”
Doctor:
“Just humor me.”
Patient: „OK, my star sign is cancer.”
Doctor: „See, that there is no coincidence.”
Patient: …

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Good jokes

- ”Rickie, I hate being a virgin. I’m 21 and the only entity I’ve slept with is an open window!

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Good jokes

A guy walks up to a caretaker in a dog shelter:
“I’d like to adopt a dog. Do you have one that’s really loyal?”
The caretaker nods, “Absolutely, you should take Danny over there.”
The man is pleased, “Excellent. And you’re sure he’s really loyal?”
“Ah, you won’t find a dog more loyal than that. I placed him 5 times these past few months and he’s always come back!”

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Good jokes

An Inuit has family to stay with him for a while. He goes to pick them up from the station. When they get back to his place, his dad asks, confused – “Amaruq – wasn’t your igloo supposed to be here?”
Amaruq gasps, “Oh no! I must have left my iron switched on…”

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Good jokes

Judge asks the defendant, “Why did you steal that car, Mr. Jones?”
Mr. Jones looks down, “I just had to get to work for an important meeting.”
The judge keeps asking, “Well why didn’t you take a bus?”
Mr. Jones looks up, surprised, “Don’t you need a special license to drive the bus?”

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Good jokes

Why didn’t the toilet paper finish crossing the road?
There was a big сrаск halfway through.

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Good jokes

Doctor talks to his patient at the end of a check-up, “Mr. Tusker, you’re obese.”
“What? Obese?! I definitely want a second opinion there.”
Doctor shrugs, “Very well, you’re also quite ugly.”

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Good jokes