Kids jokes, Toddler Jokes, Children jokes

Christmas always suскеd when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.

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We kids grew up in a really tough inner city neighborhood. …
…
It’s tough being poor at Christmas. Where we lived, Santa came up through the sewer instead of down the chimney.

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Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes

Watch angry fат russian kids play minecraft, having their shiт blown up and they cry into an endless array of horrors, neverending eternal torment, following them to their adulthood! Vоdка addictions.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Fat Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Finding her young son scooping ice cream in the kitchen, a mother raged, “Dinner is going to be ready soon. Put that ice cream away and go and play.”
“But mum” wailed the child, “There’s no one to play with.”
“OK,” said the mother wearily, “I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?
“Lets play mummy and daddy. You go upstairs and lie on the bed.”
So the mother went upstairs and lay on the bed.
The boy put on his father’s fishing hat, lit up one of his cigars, went upstairs and opened the bedroom door.
Seeing him standing there, the mother asked,”Now what do I do?”
The boy answered, “Get your аss out of bed you whоrе and fix that kid some fсuкing ice cream!”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes

“I hear you’ve got a new baby sister,” said Jonathan to his friend William.
“Yeah.”
“Is she fun to play with?”
“Nah.”
“Well, why don’t you change her?”
“We can’t,” explained William, “we’ve had her for a week already.”

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Kids Jokes Friendship Jokes

Kids -- like the new generation right now -- these kids, right, they got attitudes. They're so young, all of them, they got that hip hop attitude, even though they're like white, Asian, black, Latino, doesn't matter right... 'Billy, come and eat!'
'Man, shut up, Mom. Shut up, I'm talking on my cell phone... Nah, it's just my mom вiтсhin' again!'

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

At a wedding, there was a child that walked down the aisle. Every two steps he stopped, put his hands up in the air like claws, and gave a little roar. So it kept going. Step Step Roar, Step Step Roar. When he finally got to the altar the guests were in tears laughing. When asked why he was doing this he said, “I was the ring bear!"

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Kids Jokes

Tonight, I'm just going to sing you a song. It's a song I wrote for my twin brother, and that's no joke, I do have a twin brother. I wrote this song for him when he was eight years old, and at the time, I was -- eight.

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Kids Jokes

Bully: I have a massive penis
Others: (haha)
Kid: In your ass
Others: (oooh)
Bully: no, in your mums
Others: (burn)
Kid: i am pretty sure that it was me and your mum because i specifically remember the comdom breaking and bringing you into existence.
Others: (he cant beat that)
Bully: ...

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Bully: I'm going to hurt you
Some Kid: *coughs* hold on let me get nervous

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Kids suск. I hate kids. They're like old people with energy.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

During a biology class, the class is dissecting frogs. One student happens to be quite timid with regards to cutting the frog so he simply watches. Meanwhile, a "macho" kid begins to cut the frog and says "Your such a b*tch" a couple minutes later, the bully faints. The timid kid stands above the bully as he regains consciousness and says "Whose the b*tch now?"

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Random kid: (Say's something rude)
Me: You wanna know what's funny? Not you, so shut up.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

Because of the disregard towards safety techniques people not only die but are also born.

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Kids Jokes

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."

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Kids Jokes

Just named my new kid cancer. That way when people hear about me beating cancer it’ll make me sound better.

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Kids Jokes

We had our first two years ago -- on New Year's Eve. That's a rockin' birthday. Kind of f**ks any New Year's plans I might have had for the rest of my life, but whatever, kids can be selfish.

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Kids Jokes God Jokes

A tractor trailer driver that had a truck full of bowling ваlls was driving down the Georgia highway when he saw two black boys pushing their bikes. he pulled over and yelled out the window to the boys " why are you guys pushing your bikes?" the one black kid says " Were heading into town to get air in our tires." The driver, trying to be nice tells them to hop in the back and he'll give them a lift. trying to make up for lost time the driver begins to speed. A few minutes later, a cop pulls the driver over. "Let me see your manifesto." the cop says. The officer walks to the back of the truck opens the doors sees the boys, the bikes and the bowling ваlls, runs back up to the front of the truck and says "Boy, you better not stop this truck until you hit the state line."
"Why officer what seems to be the problem?"
"Well you got a whole truck full of niggеr eggs and two of them already hatched and stole bikes!"

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

A little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday. He seemed a little depressed, so his mother asked him if something happened in Sunday school class that he would like to talk about. He told his mother "Well, we were singing songs and the teacher made us sing about a poor bear named Gladly that needed glasses and I can't stop thinking about him. She said he was cross-eyed and I feel bad for him.
The mother couldn't understand why the teacher would teach such a song in Sunday school, so she decided to call her. To the woman’s amazement, the teacher said she only taught hymns that morning. Then the teacher began laughing out loud and said to the mother, “I know what Jeffrey’s' talking about! We learned the hymn 'Gladly The Cross I'd Bear'".

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Jokes about Women School Jokes Kids Jokes

A kid centipede comes running to his house, and knocks on the door and says,
"Dad open up, a chicken is chasing me!!!"
The dad centipede says, “Hold up, let me put my shoes on first!"

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes