Kids Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Visiting his parents’ retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk.
Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. After a while, Tim’s father returned from his walk and called out, "I’m ready to leave."
Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to leave because his father was calling. Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, "You’re a kid?"

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Kids Jokes Old People Jokes Friendship Jokes

A man and his wife had gotten into the habit of referring to making love as “doing the laundry” so their kid’s wouldn’t know what was up.
One day the man came home from work and said to his wife, “Honey, let’s do some laundry.”
“Not now,” she said, “I’ve had a hard day and I just wanna watch a little t. V.”
“OK,” he says, “I’m gonna go take a nap.”
Time passed and the missus decided that a little whoopee might be just the thing so she joined her hubby in the bedroom.”I’ve changed my mind, let’s do some laundry ” she said.
“Sorry,” said the husband, “but I just had a small load, so I did it by hand.”

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

I called up and said, 'Mom, a вuм yelled at me on the street and said something horrible to me.' You know what she says to me? 'Write the вuм a letter. Tell the вuм how you feel. Get all the rage out, Jessie. But don't send it, it's for you.' Where am I supposed to send the letter, can you please tell me that?

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Kids Jokes

I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to “be cool”.
As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, “Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?”

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Kids Jokes

What did the kid say to his mom when he saw a man in a wheelchair?
Mommy, why did that transformer break halfway through.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

BULLY- Oh you wear a size XXL (crowd laughs)
KID- No that's the size of my condoms.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

They adopted a bunch of us. There's a bunch of adopted kids. It's like they were collecting us or something, like Star Wars figures. They bought us in twos. It suскеd for my brother 'cause they kept him in the box. They had to: he came with the helmet and the backpack; he was limited edition.

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Kids Jokes

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the
Mother said. "Where is he?"
"Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much
About canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If
He knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."

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Kids Jokes

I know there are a lot of wonderful adopted children, but they're not on the Jerry Springer show, OK? And that's the show that I watch.

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Kids Jokes

I was raised by people that wear lime green polyester pants and white vinyl shoes, and I thought that this was endemic to my race 'til I saw a black man wearing red polyester pants and white vinyl shoes. Then I realized -- bad taste knows no color barrier.

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Kids Jokes Men jokes

What do you call a black kid on a bike?
Thief
Why don't you hit a black kid on a bike?
It might be your bike.

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Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common "enemy".

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Kids Jokes

It's uncomfortable when the neighbor's kids look like you.

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Kids Jokes

We had a daughter not that long ago, a little baby daughter named Sophia. We're nowhere near mature enough to be parents. I'm positive of that. After her first feeding, she passed out, so we wrote on her.

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Kids Jokes

The Doctor, after examining the lady who had been brought into the EMERGENCY ROOM, said to the husband:
"I'm afraid your wife is not looking well."
The husband replied, "I agree with you Doc, but she is a good cook and is great with the kids."

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Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Why do the street signs that say "SLOW CHILDREN" have a picture of running child?

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Kids Jokes

We picked out kinda old fashioned names for our kids. Our little boy is Hunter, and our little girl is Gatherer.

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Kids Jokes

If a young girl asks you if you like kids, she is curious. Older woman asks you if you like kids, you know what that really means? She has some kids!

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Jokes about Women Kids Jokes

A lady goes to the store and got shot three times. Nthe lady was still alive and she was going to have kids. When the kids were born ( 1 boy and 2 girls) one bullet was inside each kid. When the kids got older, the first girl says mom! The weirdest thing happened to me today! The mom say what? The girl says i pooped a bullet! Mom told her why. The second girl says mom guess what! The mom says you pooped a bullet. The girl says yes and mom told her why. The boy says mom guess what! Mom says you pooped a bullet. The boy says no i was playing with my diск and i shot the dog!!!!

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Teacher: What's 5 plus 3?
Student: Um... I don't know?
Teacher: You silly boy, it is 8.
Student: Wait... yesterday you said that 4 and 4 was 8?!?!

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Kids Jokes