Little Johnny - Page 13

One morning Lil Johnny walks into the classroom with no shirt on.
Teacher looks at him and asks where he has been.Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
The next day Johnny walks in with no pants on.
Teacher looks at him and asks where have you been.
Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
The next day Johnny comes in completly nакеd.
The teacher gasps and asks Johnny again where hes been.
Johnny replies Blueberrys Hill.
Johnny looks over his shoulder and sighs her she comes now.

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Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Phone jokes

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's sтuрid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some sтuрid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're sтuрid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

Ten year old Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen.
She says, “Put that away, Johnny. You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”
Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.”
Trying to placate him, she says, “OK. I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?”
He says, “I wanna play Mommie and Daddy.” Trying not to register surprise and a bit confused about what her 10 year old son was learning in school, she decided to appease him, by saying, “Fine, I’ll play. What do I do?”
Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down.”
Figuring that she can easily control the situation, Mom goes upstairs.
Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his fathers old fishing hat. As he starts up the stairs he notices a cigarette вuтт in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth. At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.
Really confused, and now even a bit worried, his mother raises her head and says, “What do I do now?”
In a gruff manner, Johnny says, “Get your аrsе downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes

I saw the priest watching роrnоgrарhy.
Should I get jelous?
- Johnny, 11 years old.

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Little Johnny Jokes Old People Jokes Priest Jokes

Brings little Johny a can to policeman and asks:
Can you please open the can? Policeman knocks at it:
Please open the door, police...

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Little Johnny Jokes Police Officer Jokes

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!".
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

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Sex Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Men jokes

What did little Johnny's mother do when she caught him zapping the other children with static electricity?
She grounded him.

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Little Johnny Jokes

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says President Bush, "that would be an accident."A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If Air Force One carrying you was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims President Bush, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hеll wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Friendship Jokes American Presidents Humor

Teacher: “Who do you think invented dancing, children?”
Little Johnny: “My guess is a big Irish family with just one bathroom.”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

“So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it mom. You’ll see it later on the news, anyways.”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

Teacher tells little Johnny off, “You know very well you can’t sleep in my class, Johnny.”
Johnny admits, “Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you didn’t speak quite so loud, I could.”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

“Name me five different animals, Johnny.”
“The dog, the dog’s brother, the dog’s sister, the dog’s cousin and the dog’s aunt.”

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Little Johnny Jokes Good jokes

It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire. They’ve been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the аssаulт only worsens when the darkness sets in.
Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny swears: “These dаrn mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them to find us!“

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Little Johnny Jokes Good jokes

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS СНRISТ!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ****!"

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Little Johnny Jokes Religion jokes School Jokes God Jokes

Little Johnny was doing his work in math class, when his teacher chose him to answer a question.
Teacher: Johnny if there were four birds on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?
Johnny: None because the rest would fly off.
Teacher: The answer was 3, but I like the way you're thinking!
Johnny: Well I have a question for you! If there 3 girls at a ice cream shop, one was licking her cone, one was biting her cone, and one was suскing her cone, which one is married?
"Well" said the teacher nervously " I guess the one suскing her cone...
Johnny: No the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But, I like the way you're thinking!

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Marriage and Family Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Wedding jokes Math Jokes

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, ruмр, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

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Little Johnny Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes

Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have?
I would have five dollars...
You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny...
You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Math Jokes

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word "definitely" in a sentence.
Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher says, "Of course not Johnny", To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants."

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School Jokes Gross Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Fart Jokes