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Men vs Women Jokes

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A blonde was telling a brunette that her computer broke.
So the brunette said she would check the blonde's e-mail for her. The blonde said, ''Cool! E-mail me and tell me what I got.''
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
A man moved into a new apartment, and he decided to go and check his mail.
The next thing he knows, a beautiful woman is standing in front of him and she has a robe on and she opens it and the man notices she has nothing on underneath. He tries to keep eye contact with the girl while she is talking to him. All of a sudden she says, “I hear someone coming, let's go in my apartment.
When they get in to her apartment, she lets her robe fall to the ground and asks the man, “Which part of my body do you like the best?” The guy replies, “Your ears.”
So she gets mad and asks, “Why my ears!? Look at this body! It's perfect! Look at these вrеаsтs - they're real and they're mine! Look at this вuтт - it's hard and firm! So why my ears?” The guy says, “Well, because the person you heard coming was me!”
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Men vs Women Jokes
Q: Why does it take one million sреrм to fertilize one egg?
A: They don't stop to ask for directions
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Sexist Jokes
Q: What can a bird do that a man can't?
A: Whistle through his рескеr.
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Men vs Women Jokes
One day a group of husbands and wives went to a scientific program.
The doctor there was showing them brains from real peopleand telling how expensive it would be to buy one. He said it was five million dollars for a female brain and ten million dollars for a male brain. The men snickered, thinking they knew why. One of the women said, ''Well, why is that, sir?'' The doctor answered, "The men's brains cost more, for they have never been used."
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Η μεταμόσχευση εγκεφάλου Ein Mensch möchte sich ein neues Gehirn einsetzen lassen. Un patient gravement malade est à l'hôpital. La famille est réunie dans la salle d'attente. Un médecin entre et dit : - Désolé, je vous apporte de mauvaises nouvelles. L'unique chance de survie est une greffe de cerveau. C'est une opération expérimentale, très risquée et dont les frais seront... Det var en gång en svensk, en rysk och en norrman som skulle byta hjärnor. Ryssen sa: - Jag vill ha en norsk hjärna! Då sa svensken: - Varför det? Ryssen: - För att den är helt oanvänd! Då det var dags att byta hjärnor sade svensken: - Jag vill ha en norsk hjärna. Punkt slut. - Varför detta? - För den är oanvänd. Depois de passar por vários exames, o paciente recebe o diagnóstico da junta médica que o assistia: — O senhor precisa fazer um transplante de cérebro! — Transplante de cérebro? — Sim e já... A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs... Det var en gång en svensk som skulle byta hjärna. Då sa doktorn: - Vad vill du ha för hjärna? - Gärna en norsk hjärna. - Varför i all sin dar vill du ha en norsk hjärna? - För den är oanvänd.
Men vs Women Jokes
How many men does it take to mop a floor?
None. It's a woman's job.
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Men vs Women Jokes
There once was a man from Cass.
Whose ваlls were made out of brass.
When they tinkled together,
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his аss.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Q: What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes
How is a hurricane like a marriage?
At the beginning there's a lot of blowing and suскing, and when it's over your house is gone.
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Men vs Women Jokes
What does a guy say when he's going to маsтurвате?
"I'm gonna to go hit the sack!"
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Men vs Women Jokes Masturbation jokes
Q: How did Helen Keller discover маsтurватiоn?
A: She tried to read her own lips.
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Men vs Women Jokes Masturbation jokes
Q: Why did Helen Keller маsтurвате with only one hand?
A: So she could moan with the other hand.
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Men vs Women Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Masturbation jokes
Geek Воотy Call... Math:
How about we add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply?
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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Geek jokes Math Jokes Flirt jokes
Q: What's the difference between a fат person and a virgin?
A: A fат person is trying to diet, and a virgin is dying to try it.
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Men vs Women Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes
Q: Why don't women have men's brains?
A: They don't have a реnis to put them in!
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Men vs Women Jokes
Q: Why is a man's рее yellow and his sреrм white?
A: So he can tell if he's coming or going.
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Men vs Women Jokes
How are men like lightbulbs?
You have to sсrеw both of them to get a response!
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Men vs Women Jokes
Q: How many men does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to actually do the sсrеwing and four others to brag that they did.
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Men vs Women Jokes
Q: Why are men like blenders?
A: Every woman who has one doesn't know why.
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Men vs Women Jokes
Have you ever read that married men live longer than single men?
What they don't tell you is that married men are much more willing to die.
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Men vs Women Jokes
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