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Men vs Women Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Q: What's a man's definition of safe sеx?
A: When his wife's out of town.
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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
How do you find a blind man on a nudе beach?
It ain't hard...
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain.
On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes
Q: Why did God invent yeast infection?
A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying сunт.
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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes God Jokes
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven.
"I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven.
But if you think one dirтy thought or act out one dirтy act your wings will fall off."
So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a nакеd woman walk by so his wings falll off.
When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.
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Car and driving jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff.
Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt.
She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!"
She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman."
He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
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Aviation Jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Жените искат всичко от един мъж. Мъжете искате едно нещо от всички жени En kvinna vill ha många saker av en enda man. Och en man vill ha en enda sak av många kvinnor.
A woman wants everything from one man.
A man wants one thing from all the women.
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body?
A: He is all right now.
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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes
Q: What is 6.9?
A: A really great thing ruined by a period.
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Men vs Women Jokes Sex Jokes Math Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river?
A: So she could have shade when she swam across.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts."
The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
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Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Coffee Jokes
A blond man and a brunette woman were happily married and about to have a baby.
One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital, and she gave birth to two baby boys. The blond man turned to his wife and yelled, "All right, who's the other father?"
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Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes
The following sign was posted at a fast-food restaurant owned by two blondes:
Parking for drive-through customers only!
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Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Restaurant Jokes
A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and вlоw in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes
Пратили две кучета и една блондинка в космоса. Полицаец и прасе во Вселената Zwei Schweine und ein Mantafahrer im Weltraum Изпратили едно прасе и един милиционер в Космоса, с една совалка. Изпратили две кучета - Лайка и Чау-чау, и една блондинка в космоса с важна мисия. От контролния център викат Лайка: Ad una missione nello spazio partecipano un cane, un gatto ed un carabiniere. Изпращат в космоса две кучета и една блондинка. След известно време от земята викат: - Шаро! - Бау, бау... - Натисни червеното копче! След още една обиколка от земята пак се обаждат: - Лайка! - Бау, бау... - Натисни бялото копче! На третата обиколка: - Блондинката! - Бау, бау... - Що... Eine Raumkapsel, besetzt mit 2 Schweinen und dem Burgenländer Gustl Güssinger, fliegt durchs All. Plötzlich kommt ein Funkspruch: "Hier spricht Houston. Schwein eins, bitte drücken sie den roten Knopf." Schwein eins drückt den roten Knopf. Später kommt ein weiterer Funkspruch: "Hier spricht... Die NASA sucht drei Astronauten. Es findet sich aber nur ein Freiwilliger: ein Österreicher. Die NASA überlegt und schickt dann zwei Schweine und den Österreicher mit der Rakete ins All. Nach zwölf Stunden funkt Houston zur Raumkapsel: "Schwein 1 bitte melden!" Es dauert eine Minute, dann die... NASA beslutade för några år sedan att skicka upp den första blonda astronauten i rymden. Hennes enda sällskap var en apa och hennes instruktioner var att lyda de instruktioner hon fick när en röd lampa tändes. En timme efter start tändes en grön lampa och en röst instruerade att kontrollera... En norrman skulle för första gången skickas ut i rymden. Som sällskap skulle han ha en apa och när en röd lampa tändes, skulle han följa instruktionerna som gavs. Enkelt, tänkte norrmannen och så... En un experimento de la NASA tenían a dos monos y un atlante, haciendo comunicación con los monos la NASA dice: NASA a mono 1: Encienda motores (el mono encendió los motores) NASA a mono 2:... In Amerika wurde in den 70er Jahren ein neuartiges Weltraumprojekt gestartet: Ein Schimpanse und eine Blondine starten zu einer mehrjährigen Reise durchs Universum. Beiden wird nur ein Umschlag... A Nasa enviou ao espaço 3 macacos e 1 português: — Nasa para a Nave. — Macaco número 1, configurar painel de controle da espaçonave. — Configuração efetuada! — Macaco número 2, verificar... Felküldenek két malacot és egy rendőrt az űrbe. Mielőtt elindítanák az űrhajót mindenki elmondja, hogy mi az ő feladata. - Egyes számú malac, Önnek mi a feladata? - kérdezi az operátor. - Én...
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?"
The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?"
The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?"
The blonde woman replies, "Um. Oh yeah, I remember now. 'Feed the pigs - and don't touch a thing!'"
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes
A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!"
The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape?"
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Men vs Women Jokes Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes
What a woman says:
This place is a mess! Right now - c'mon - you and I need to clean up. Your stuff's all over the floor, and you'll have no clothes left to wear if we don't do laundry right now."
What a man hears:
"Blah, blah, blah blah RIGHT NOW blah blah YOU AND I blah blah blah ALL OVER THE FLOOR blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW."
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes
Q: Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
A: She forgot to close her eyes.
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
Our Sтuрid Apartment's On Fire!
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.
"Help us, help us!" yells the other.
"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.
"Good idea," said the other.
"Together, together!"
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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes
What’s a good demonstration of the difference between a man and a woman?
The two meanings of the sentence: “What an аss!”
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Men vs Women Jokes
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