Men-Women jokes

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.
The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and вlоw in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.
"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"

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NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?"
The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?"
The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink."
Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?"
The blonde woman replies, "Um. Oh yeah, I remember now. 'Feed the pigs - and don't touch a thing!'"

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!"
The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

What a woman says:
This place is a mess! Right now - c'mon - you and I need to clean up. Your stuff's all over the floor, and you'll have no clothes left to wear if we don't do laundry right now."
What a man hears:
"Blah, blah, blah blah RIGHT NOW blah blah YOU AND I blah blah blah ALL OVER THE FLOOR blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW."

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Q: Why was the blonde having trouble sleeping?
A: She forgot to close her eyes.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Our Sтuрid Apartment's On Fire!
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.
"Help us, help us!" yells the other.
"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.
"Good idea," said the other.
"Together, together!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

What’s a good demonstration of the difference between a man and a woman?
The two meanings of the sentence: “What an аss!”

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Men vs Women Jokes

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom."
The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."

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Men jokes Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Life Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunк guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits)
The guy says to the drunк, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunк says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Grandparent Jokes

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?"
"What"
"We're both ugly!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Insult Jokes Single People Jokes Ugly Jokes

Three men are sitting nакеd in the sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says.
"I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rings.
The second man lifts his palm to his ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna.
In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear.
The others raise their eyebrows.
"I'm getting a fax," he explains.

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Technology Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Phone jokes

A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road.
"You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."

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Car and driving jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Why do women need guys?
Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night.
A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner. After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room. ''Sure,'' the woman says. ''Let me go wash my hands first.'' After she washes her hands, they have sеx. After they are finished, she washes her hands again. This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.'' Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anasthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Hotel Jokes

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One hundred - one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but she couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.
She answered, "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blonde's friend asked her if she sold the car after rolling back the odometer. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell my car? There are only 40,000 miles on it."

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Men vs Women Jokes Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes