Men-Women jokes

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom."
The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."

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A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"
The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you."
The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fат in those pants."

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Bar and Bartender Jokes Music and Musician Jokes Fat Jokes

Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings.
One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?'
An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in."
She lets him in and goes "how can we help?"
The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice тiтs"

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Church jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Boob Jokes

A girl goes to a library.
Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent."
Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

There's 3 army generals and the government decides to pay them any way they want measured.
First guy says measure from the tip of my toe to the end of my finger.
So they do and its 73 inches so they pay him $730,000.
The second guy does the same and gets paid $650,000.
The third guy goes measure from the tip of my реnis to the back of my ваlls.
They say OK drop your pants, so he does and they measure.
"You have no ваlls" they say.
"Yes I do," he replies, "they're still in Vietnam.

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Military Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

A very fат woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,
"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."
Clerk, "me too..."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Fat Jokes

Q: Why do female skydivers wear jоск straps?
A: So they don't whistle on the way down.

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Dirty jokes Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

Why does a реnis have a hole at the end?
So guys can be open-minded.

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Dirty jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Men jokes Life Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night.
A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner. After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room. ''Sure,'' the woman says. ''Let me go wash my hands first.'' After she washes her hands, they have sеx. After they are finished, she washes her hands again. This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.'' Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anasthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''

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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Hotel Jokes

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One hundred - one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but she couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.
She answered, "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blonde's friend asked her if she sold the car after rolling back the odometer. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell my car? There are only 40,000 miles on it."

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Men vs Women Jokes Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes Stupid Jokes

Q: If mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day, what do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday.

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Men vs Women Jokes Make My Day Laughs Sex Jokes Father's Day Jokes Single People Jokes Mother's Day Jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet.
The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second. An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the вrеаsт sтrоке, the others were using their arms.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers.
She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone.
The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Science jokes Student jokes School Jokes

Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Рussy.
Son: I dont get it.
Dad: Exactly...

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Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunк guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits)
The guy says to the drunк, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunк says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Grandparent Jokes

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?"
"What"
"We're both ugly!"

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Men vs Women Jokes Insult Jokes Single People Jokes Ugly Jokes