Money jokes - Page 32

What kind of money do polar bears use?
Ice lolly.

26 0

Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.

26 0

Money jokes Animal Jokes

Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

26 0

Money jokes

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.

26 0

Money jokes

A man walks into a lawyer's office and inquires about the rates.
"Fifty dollars for three questions, "replies the lawyer.
"Isn't that awfully steep?" asks the man.
"Yes," the lawyer replies, "and what's your third question?"

25 0

Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton ваlls on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"
"You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she."

25 0

Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes

It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"
And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"

25 0

Men vs Women Jokes Money jokes Blonde Jokes

Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"

25 0

Money jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Valentines Slogans:
10. I admire your strength, I admire your sрunк, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunк.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whоrе.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fат аss.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your аss.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "воотy".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm hоrny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

25 0

Valentine's Day Jokes Jokes about Women Money jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sex Jokes Fat Jokes Love Jokes

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde:
"Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

25 0

Friendship Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Money jokes Blonde Jokes Stupid Jokes

How do you find the population of a Mexican village?
Roll a quarter down the street.r

25 0

Mexican jokes Money jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

I like black people . . .
. . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!

25 0

Money jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Friendship Jokes Dad Jokes Black People Jokes

An elderly retired couple went to a doctor.
The man said, "We want to know if we are making love properly.
Will you look at us?"
"Go ahead," said the doctor. They made love.
"You are making love perfectly," the doctor said.
"That will be $10."
They came back six weeks in a row and did the same thing.
On the seventh visit the doctor said, "What are you coming here like this for - I told you that you are making love properly!"
"She can't come to my house," said the man, "and I can't go to her house.
A motel costs $20.
You charge us $10 and we get $8 back from Medicare."

25 0

Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Love Jokes

A prominent lawyer calls a plumber to fix a leak in his shower.
After about 25 minutes the plumber hands him a bill for $200.00.
The lawyer, enraged, says:
“I’m a famous trial lawyer, and even I don’t make that kind of money for 25 minutes work!”
“Neither did I when I was a lawyer”, says the plumber.

25 0

Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Lawyer Jokes

How are vending machines and black men similar?
They don't work but they take your money.

25 0

Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

‘Money frees you from doing things you dislike, since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.’
Groucho Marx

25 0

Money jokes

This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations.
It’s true.
My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.

25 0

Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Grandparent Jokes

A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial.
When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’

25 0

Money jokes Men jokes Banker Jokes

What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust?
The cost.

25 0

Money jokes Dark Humor Jokes

A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar.
He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon.
The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation.
Lalu said,
"Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know."
They went.
Had lots of fun and came back.
Wife back at home asked,
"I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for."
The Husband said,
"Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sеx, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon."
The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."

25 0

Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes