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One-Liner Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A man visits his doctor and complains that he feels like he has 5 legs.
The doctor asks him how do his pants fit?
The man replies, "Like a glove!"
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One-Liner Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
Q: How did the blonde put out her cigarette?
A: She threw it in the water and stepped on it.
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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes
In the words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there; then the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Що е то блондинка с две мозъчни клетки? Какво е блондинка с две мозъчни клетки? Blondine mit zwei Gehirnzellen Hva kaller man en blondine som har to hjerneceller? Svar: Gravid Vad kallar man en blondin med två hjärnceller? Visa svaret Svar: Gravid Milloin blondilla on kaksi aivosolua? - Kun hän on raskaana. Jak nazywa się blondynka mająca dwie komórki mózgowe? - W ciąży...
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
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Men vs Women Jokes Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Q: Why did three blondes jump off a building?
A: They wanted to see if their маxi-pads really had wings.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? Give her a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
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Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes
A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.
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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes
A blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the storeÂ’s baby scale.
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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes
She entered the office of a noted divorce lawyer. 'I want to know if I have grounds for divorce? 'she asked.
'Are you married?' asked the lawyer.
'Yes, I am.'
'Then, 'he replied, 'you have grounds.'
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Lawyer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
What's fifteen inches long and hangs in front of an аsshоlе? A lawyer's necktie.
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Lawyer Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Doctor:
“The results of your bold test have come in.”
“You mean blood test?”
“Hm, must be a Type-O.”
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One-Liner Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any kids...
When I got home, they were still there.
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One-Liner Jokes
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.
"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."
"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board?!"
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One-Liner Jokes
My childhood crush and I are finally getting married this year! Me in August, and her in November.
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One-Liner Jokes
What's the difference between Big Ben and Tic Tok?
One tells time, the other wastes time.
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One-Liner Jokes
Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me,...
So from now I'm going to concentrate on getting taller!
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One-Liner Jokes
When a small village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one.
Randall, an older man, stood up. "Ah think we should keep the old truck," he said. "We can use it for all them false alarms!"
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One-Liner Jokes
Тази сутрин беше толкова студено, че дори видях политик с ръце в собствените си джобове. It was so cold today I saw a lawyer with his ... Тия дни навън е толкова студено, It’s so cold I saw a socialists Ayer hacía tanto frío que hasta vi a un político con las manos en SUS propios bolsillos... Era un país tan frío, tan frío, tan frío, que los abogados tenían las manos en SUS bolsillos. Spørgsmål: - Er det koldt udenfor? Svar: - Det tror jeg. Jeg så en advokat med hænderne i sine egne lommer! 30 degrees... It was so cold out today that even the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets. En kväll var det SÅ kallt så jag såg en advokat med händerna i sina EGNA fickor. Pernai žiemą buvo taip šalta, kad seimo nariai, buvo pastebėti, rankas laikantys savo nuosavose kišenėse.
Do you know how cold the weather was today? It was so cold, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes
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