One-Liner Jokes

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Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what?

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Policeman to Blonde: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
Blonde: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes Police Officer Jokes Car and driving jokes

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes Nurse jokes

"After Thanksgiving dinner, I was as stuffed as a turkey!"

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Thanksgiving Jokes One-Liner Jokes

You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner!

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Thanksgiving Jokes One-Liner Jokes

"Apparently, there are now law groups forming around the cannabis industry. They are known as grass roots lawyers."

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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Thank you for calling Soviet Embassy. No KG... Er, no diplomats are able to answer phone, so at sound of capitalist tone, leave name, telephone number, and short description of secrets you wish to sell.

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One-Liner Jokes

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.
Today I’m putting a cockroach in the bathroom.

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Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes Superhero Jokes

Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sеx?
They're called "Predickamints".

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Drug Jokes Jokes about Women Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”

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Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes One-Liner Jokes

How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? Give her a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

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Blonde Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes One-Liner Jokes

When her husband returns home at two in the morning, the wife confronts him.
"I told you two beers and home by ten o’clock!"
The man replies, "I'm sorry honey, I must have gotten the two numbers mixed up."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Beer Jokes

THE DA VINCI CODE (abridged version for blondes)

There is no greater mystic power
Than the scent that rises from a woman's flower
But its glory quickly fades away
Be wise, young ladies - and seize the day!

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
BLONDE: (puzzled look) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Dad Jokes

TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors

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Halloween Jokes Religion jokes One-Liner Jokes

"You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent.
"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.
Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with the case."

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Judge and Court Jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury twenty more of them."

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Funeral jokes Money jokes One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Boss Jokes

Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and I’ve grown вiggеr ever since.

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One-Liner Jokes