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One-Liner Jokes

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An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says," ' Bout what?" Submitted by Curtis Edited by Calamjo
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One-Liner Jokes
Waiter: I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.
Dad: Good, I'll have water and my daughter will have the steak and a kid's light вееr.
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Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes Beer Jokes
Жена ми помоли да и дам гланца за устни. По погрешка и дадох лепило. Meine Frau hat mich gebeten, ihr das Lippenbalsam zu reichen. Ausversehen gab ich ihr Superkleber. Жінка попросила передати їй тюбик із помадою, а я переплутав і дав тюбик із суперклеєм. I accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of a chap stick... She's still not talking to me ... Zwei Freunden treffen sich in der Kneipe. Sagt der eine: "Du, gestern hat mich meine Frau darum gebeten, ihr den Lippenstift zu reichen. Ich gab ihr versehentlich den Klebestift." - "Ohje, und... Forleden ba min kone meg om å gi henne leppestiften hennes, men jeg ga henne en limtube i stedet ved et uhell. Hun snakker fortsatt ikke til meg. Żona prosiła mnie, żebym jej przyniósł szminkę. Przez pomyłkę podałem jej klej w sztyfcie. Chyba ciągle jest obrażona, bo nadal się nie odzywa... Onlangs vroeg mijn vrouw me om haar lippenstift door te geven, maar ik gaf haar per ongeluk een lijmstift. Ze praat nog steeds niet met me.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
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Marriage and Family Jokes One-Liner Jokes Beauty Jokes Communication Jokes
Patient: Doctor, I have a little man in my head, and he's cursing all the time!
Doctor: Well, this problem is really easy to fix! It will cost you $1000.
Patient: Doctor, do you know what the little guy just said?
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One-Liner Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America thats never been advertised. And theres a reason -- all of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
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One-Liner Jokes Halloween Jokes
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal?


A: She was so proud she had it bronzed.
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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes
Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes
How do you know a blonde has a bad day? she's playing a pencil and she cant find her recorder!
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
I was reading this article the other day, and it said, The perfect way to spice up your love life is to make love in a car wash. Let me tell you guys from experience -- no, it is not. Its also the perfect way to ruin a church fundraiser.
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One-Liner Jokes
I know 10 facts about you:
Fact 1: You are reading this.
Fact 2: You can't say the letter 'm' without touching your lips.
Fact 3: You just tried it.
Fact 4: You're smiling.
Fact 6: You're smiling or laughing again.
Fact 7: You didn't notice I missed fact 5.
Fact 8: You just checked it.
Fact 9: You're smiling again.
Fact 10: You like this and you're going to rate or comment.
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One-Liner Jokes
Vad gör man när en blondin kastar en liten metallpinne på en? Springer som fan. Hon har en handgranat i munnen Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
Why do you run when a blonde throws a pin at you ?????
She's holding the grenade
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One-Liner Jokes Blonde Jokes
Dolly Parton charmed me into watching the Winter Games. I was воовs led.
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One-Liner Jokes Boob Jokes
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck Norris donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research to the American Cancer Society.
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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes American Jokes
What do a blonde and a car have in common? A: They can both drive you crazy.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
I dont even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. Im looking at all the aisles -- they dont have one that says oops.
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One-Liner Jokes
The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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One-Liner Jokes
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Ice Cubes Blondes & Ice Cubes Γιατί οι πόντιοι σταμάτησαν να φτιάχνουν παγάκια το 1981; Τα παγάκια. Η συνταγή ¿Por qué en Galicia no hacen más cubitos de hielo?. ¿Por qué razón las rubias no pueden hacer cubitos de hielo? Se les olvida la receta! Pourquoi ils n'ont pas de glaçons en Belgique? - Ils ont perdu la recette ¿Por qué las mujeres no pueden hacer hielo? Porque no se saben la receta. Pourquoi les blondes ne savent-elles pas faire les glaçons? Elles n'ont pas la recette. Warum haben Blondinen keine Eiswürfel im Gefrierschrank? Sie haben das Rezept verloren. Hvorfor kan man ikke få isterninger i Århus? - De kender ikke opskriften! Hvorfor kan blondiner ikke lave isterninger? – De glemmer opskriften fra gang til gang Hvordan kan det være at man ikke få isterninger i Århus? – Fordi ham, som har opskriften er rejst væk. In de belgische horeca hebben ze geen ijsblokjes meer. Ze zijn het recept kwijt. Hvorfor finnes det ikke isbiter i Svergie? - Jo, fordi de har ikke oppskriften. - Dlaczego blondynki nie potrafią zrobić kostek lodu? - Bo ciągle zapominają przepisu. Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer? A: She forgot the recipe.
Why are blondes constantly running out of ice? A: They forgot the recipe.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Blondinen in dreieckigen Särgen Защо погребват блондинките в триъгълни ковчези? Pourquoi les blondes préfèrent les cercueils triangulaires ? Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin? A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs! Savez vous pourquoi le cercueil de la blonde, à la forme d'un "y" ? Parce que, à chaque fois qu'elle se couche sur le dos, elle ouvre les jambes ! - De ce sunt blondele inmormantate in Sicrie triunghiulare? - Pentru ca de fiecare data Cand inchid ochii deschid picioarele! Dlaczego blondynki chowają w trójkątnych trumnach? - Bo gdy zamykają oczy, to rozkładają nogi. De ce blondele au sicriu in forma de romb? .... Pt ca nu-si pot apropia picioarele! Vet du hur man vet att det ligger en blondin i likkistan? - Nej? - Den är Y-formad! Hvorfor bliver en blondine begravet i en trekantet kiste? De spreder benene, når det bliver mørkt Warum sind die Särge von Blondinen dreieckig? Sobald das Licht ausgeht, gehen die Beine auseinander. Dlaczego trumny dla blondynek są trójkątne? - Bo im się w ciemnościach nogi same rozkładają. Warum haben Blondinen dreieckige Särge? Weil sie die Beine nicht mehr zusammen bekommen...
Why do blondes have triangular coffins? A: Every time their head hits the pillow their legs spread.
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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes
“Every Christmas I would look for sooty footprints near our fireplace. I was looking for Santa clues.”
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One-Liner Jokes Christmas Jokes
Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”

Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”

Doctor: “Every two hours.”
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One-Liner Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes
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