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One-Liner Jokes

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A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we mean by sins of omission?"
A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"
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One-Liner Jokes School Jokes
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx...
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
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One-Liner Jokes
"My electrician's favorite philosopher is Voltaire."
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One-Liner Jokes
An insurance agent's wife was learning to drive when the brakes failed.
"What should I do?" she cried.
"Brace yourself, and try to hit something cheap."
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One-Liner Jokes Insurance Comedy
When do Japanese warriors yell ‘Bonsai!'?
When they send in the infant tree.
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One-Liner Jokes Japanese Jokes
Top researchers determined that cutting out beans, tomatoes and peppers will dramatically improve your diet...
That is how I determined that top researchers hate chili!
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One-Liner Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes
"To do is to be..." -- Descartes.
"To be is to do..." -- Sartre.
"Do be do be do..." – Sinatra!
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One-Liner Jokes
Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac? He knew in advance what he was going to forget.
Did you hear about the new restaurant that just opened up on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
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Американски астронавт пред комисия на НАСА по повод изпращането на китайски космонавт в космоса. Чухте ли? NASA открива ресторант на Луната. Казват, че менюто е отлично, но му липсвала атмосфера. 2030 година. НАСА открива първия в историята ресторант на Луната. Един от посетителите пише в книгата за гости: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.. Har du hørt om restauranten på månen?– God mad, ingen atmosfære. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere. Due astronauti mangiano in un ristorante sulla luna. Uno dice: “Guarda, non è incredibile? Eccoci qui, che mangiamo in un ristorante sulla luna! Che te ne pare?”. “Si’, è carino, e il cibo è... - Har du hört att de har öppnat en restaurang på månen? - Nej, hur är den? - Maten är bra, men det är ingen atmosfär. Trwa ostra imprezka na Księżycu. W pewnej chwili ktoś mówi: - Wiesz co, Armstrong. Niby wszystko się zgadza... Rozpaliliśmy grilla, jest wódeczka, są kobitki, a jakoś atmosfery nie ma. Rzecz dzieje się na Księżycu. Amerykanie wysiedli z lądownika i powoli rozkręcają imprezę. Rozpalili grilla, wyciągnęli piwo, puścili muzyczkę - wiadomo. Wtem Armstrong odzywa się do... Hvilke anmeldelser får restauranten der ligger på månen altid? -  4 stjerner. Der er god mad, men slet ingen atmosfære Why did the restaurant on the moon get bad reviews? It has no atmosphere. Έχετε ακούσει για το καινούργιο εστιατόριο στη σελήνη; Το φαγητό είναι καταπληκτικό αλλά δεν έχει καθόλου ατμόσφαιρα.
One-Liner Jokes Restaurant Jokes
Susie: My husband is a great handyman. He can repair almost anything.
Jane: My mother always taught me to beware of the man that can fix everything. You'll never get anything new.
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One-Liner Jokes
I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me...."Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"
She replied...."Your sense of humor, dear."
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One-Liner Jokes Wife jokes
Did you hear about that cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens!
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One-Liner Jokes
I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him...
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes Dog jokes
Q: How did the bishop make holy water?
A: He took some tap water and boiled the hеll out of it.
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Religion jokes One-Liner Jokes
A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father,
"Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?"
The father answered immediately,
"I just don't know, son. No male has ever lived that long yet."
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One-Liner Jokes
What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm?
The CIEIO!
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One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes
My boss came to me at lunch, "Where the hеll have you been? I've been trying to find you all morning!"
I shrugged and said, "Good employees are hard to find!"
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Office and Work Jokes One-Liner Jokes Boss Jokes
I just saw some idiот at the gym...
He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill!
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One-Liner Jokes Fitness jokes
Teacher: “What is the difference between ‘Tea’ and ‘Tee’?
Student: "The first one is a drink and the second is an incorrect spelling."
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School Jokes One-Liner Jokes
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN...
They get really upset.
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One-Liner Jokes
What constitutes a big breakfast? Well, in France, an egg is an oeuf to eat.
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Nationality Jokes One-Liner Jokes
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